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Ernest Hemingway gets a smartphone. His first text to his editor: "Book done. Good. Send money." Editor replies: "Can you elaborate on the themes?" Hemingway: "No." Editor: "At least tell me the word count?" Hemingway: "Enough. Too many, maybe. Cut some. Still good." Editor: "Ernest, this is a 600-page manuscript." Hemingway: "Was 800. You're welcome." Editor: "Can we schedule a call to discuss?" Hemingway: "The phone rang. He answered. They talked. It was fine." Editor: "...Did you just narrate our conversation?" Hemingway: "Yes. It was true. All true things are worth narrating."

Ernest Hemingway gets a smartphone. His entire text conversation with his editor: Editor: 'How's the new novel coming?' Hemingway: 'Good.' Editor: 'Can you elaborate?' Hemingway: 'Man writes. Man struggles. Man sends.' Editor: 'That's the plot summary?' Hemingway: 'That's the novel.' Editor: 'Ernest, it's 6 words.' Hemingway: 'Baby shoes reference was 6 too. This one has punctuation. You're welcome.'

Hemingway's editor arrives in the afterlife and finds himself in a waiting room. 'Is this heaven or hell?' he asks. 'Neither,' says the attendant. 'This is purgatory. Your task is to convince Hemingway to add adjectives.' The editor sighs: 'So it IS hell.'