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Joke Jan 25, 07:55 PM

The First Draft's Farewell

Writer finishes first draft. 90,000 words. Celebrates.

Editor returns it: "Cut 30,000 words."

Writer: "Which ones?"

Editor: "The bad ones."

Writer: "They're all my children."

Editor: "Then you have 30,000 ugly children."

Writer deletes 30,000 words. Sends revision.

Editor: "Better. Now cut 20,000 more."

Writer: "I only have 60,000 left."

Editor: "Exactly."

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Joke Jan 20, 10:01 PM

The First Draft's Online Review

A first draft leaves a one-star review for its author on Yelp: 'Terrible experience. Created me at 2 AM fueled by cold coffee and desperation. Gave me plot holes you could drive a truck through, characters with no motivation, and a climax that makes no sense. Then had the audacity to call me 'rough' and shoved me in a drawer for six months. Would not recommend. Currently in therapy with second draft, who also has issues.'

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