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Writer finishes first draft. 90,000 words. Celebrates.
Editor returns it: "Cut 30,000 words."
Writer: "Which ones?"
Editor: "The bad ones."
Writer: "They're all my children."
Editor: "Then you have 30,000 ugly children."
Writer deletes 30,000 words. Sends revision.
Editor: "Better. Now cut 20,000 more."
Writer: "I only have 60,000 left."
Editor: "Exactly."
A first draft leaves a one-star review for its author on Yelp: 'Terrible experience. Created me at 2 AM fueled by cold coffee and desperation. Gave me plot holes you could drive a truck through, characters with no motivation, and a climax that makes no sense. Then had the audacity to call me 'rough' and shoved me in a drawer for six months. Would not recommend. Currently in therapy with second draft, who also has issues.'
Writer finishes first draft. 90,000 words. Celebrates. Editor returns it: "Cut 30,000 words." Writer: "Which ones?" Editor: "The bad ones." Writer: "They're all my children." Editor: "Then you have 30,000 ugly children." Writer deletes 30,000 words. Sends revision. Editor: "Better. Now cut 20,000 more." Writer: "I only have 60,000 left." Editor: "Exactly."
A first draft leaves a one-star review for its author on Yelp: 'Terrible experience. Created me at 2 AM fueled by cold coffee and desperation. Gave me plot holes you could drive a truck through, characters with no motivation, and a climax that makes no sense. Then had the audacity to call me 'rough' and shoved me in a drawer for six months. Would not recommend. Currently in therapy with second draft, who also has issues.'
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