Content Feed

Fan mail received. First ever. 'Your book changed my life.' Hands trembling. Opened envelope. 50% off coupon for Domino's. Framed it anyway.

Manuscript stolen from my apartment. Called police. Filed report. Two weeks later, detective showed up. "We recovered your property." "You found the thief?" "We found your manuscript." "Wonderful! Where was it?" "In evidence. We all read it." He placed it on the table. "We're returning it." "Any leads on the burglar?" "Ma'am, we found nothing of value at the crime scene."

Writer finishes first draft. 90,000 words. Celebrates. Editor returns it: "Cut 30,000 words." Writer: "Which ones?" Editor: "The bad ones." Writer: "They're all my children." Editor: "Then you have 30,000 ugly children." Writer deletes 30,000 words. Sends revision. Editor: "Better. Now cut 20,000 more." Writer: "I only have 60,000 left." Editor: "Exactly."