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Fan mail received. First ever. 'Your book changed my life.' Hands trembling. Opened envelope. 50% off coupon for Domino's. Framed it anyway.

Writers' retreat: 7 writers, 1 cabin, 0 WiFi. Day 1: introductions, wine, shared hopes. Day 3: we've formed factions. The literary fiction people won't speak to the genre writers. The poets have barricaded themselves in the bathroom. Day 5: there are only 4 of us now. We don't discuss the others.

"How's the novel going?" "Blocked. Cat's sitting on my keyboard." "Just move him." "I can't. He's written three chapters while sitting there." "So?" "They're better than mine. My agent wants to represent him. He's negotiating treats."