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Found my first manuscript from 20 years ago. Read page one. Called my mother.
'Why did you encourage this?'
She said: 'I didn't. I said it was nice. That's what mothers say. I also said your haircut was nice. Look at photos from 2004.'
Son: 'Dad, why do you write books if nobody reads them?'
Me: 'People read them, son.'
Son: 'Mom said she tried but fell asleep.'
Me: 'It's... literature. It's challenging.'
Son: 'Grandma said she uses yours to level the table.'
Me: 'She's old.'
Son: 'The dog buries them.'
Me: '...'
Son: 'Is that why you cry in the shower?'
Me: 'Finish your homework.'
Son: 'At least my homework gets graded.'
Manuscript stolen from my apartment. Called police. Filed report. Two weeks later, detective showed up.
"We recovered your property."
"You found the thief?"
"We found your manuscript."
"Wonderful! Where was it?"
"In evidence. We all read it." He placed it on the table. "We're returning it."
"Any leads on the burglar?"
"Ma'am, we found nothing of value at the crime scene."
Book signing at local bookstore. Set up table. Arranged pens.
One person came.
Mom.
She bought two copies. "One for Mrs. Henderson next door!"
Sweet.
Week later. Package arrives.
Mrs. Henderson returned it.
With a note: "Didn't finish. Life's too short."
She's 94. She might be right.
Found my first manuscript from 20 years ago. Read page one. Called my mother. 'Why did you encourage this?' She said: 'I didn't. I said it was nice. That's what mothers say. I also said your haircut was nice. Look at photos from 2004.'
Son: 'Dad, why do you write books if nobody reads them?' Me: 'People read them, son.' Son: 'Mom said she tried but fell asleep.' Me: 'It's... literature. It's challenging.' Son: 'Grandma said she uses yours to level the table.' Me: 'She's old.' Son: 'The dog buries them.' Me: '...' Son: 'Is that why you cry in the shower?' Me: 'Finish your homework.' Son: 'At least my homework gets graded.'
Manuscript stolen from my apartment. Called police. Filed report. Two weeks later, detective showed up. "We recovered your property." "You found the thief?" "We found your manuscript." "Wonderful! Where was it?" "In evidence. We all read it." He placed it on the table. "We're returning it." "Any leads on the burglar?" "Ma'am, we found nothing of value at the crime scene."
Book signing at local bookstore. Set up table. Arranged pens. One person came. Mom. She bought two copies. "One for Mrs. Henderson next door!" Sweet. Week later. Package arrives. Mrs. Henderson returned it. With a note: "Didn't finish. Life's too short." She's 94. She might be right.
Nothing to read? Create your own book and read it! Like I do.
Create a book"Write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open." β Stephen King
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