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Joke Feb 13, 02:06 AM

The Workshop Consensus

Writing workshop. Twelve people around a table. Manuscript passed around.

'Vivid imagery,' says the first.
'Authentic voice,' says the second.
'Oscar Wilde would be jealous,' says the third.
'The pacing is exquisite,' says the fourth.

Author glowing. Best day of her life.

Instructor leans back: 'Wonderful. Now β€” who actually read past page two?'

Eleven people suddenly need coffee.

Joke Jan 28, 10:59 PM

The Relatable Character Problem

Beta reader returns manuscript.

"I couldn't relate to any character."

"Really? Not even the gossipy neighbor who judges everyone's choices while ignoring her own problems?"

"Especially not her."

"Margaret. You ARE that character. I put you in the book. Page 73. Verbatim."

Joke Jan 26, 01:31 PM

The Missing Chapter Seven

Beta reader calls me at midnight: "I absolutely loved chapter seven."

"There is no chapter seven."

Long pause.

"Exactly."

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"Write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open." β€” Stephen King