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Writing workshop. Twelve people around a table. Manuscript passed around.
'Vivid imagery,' says the first.
'Authentic voice,' says the second.
'Oscar Wilde would be jealous,' says the third.
'The pacing is exquisite,' says the fourth.
Author glowing. Best day of her life.
Instructor leans back: 'Wonderful. Now — who actually read past page two?'
Eleven people suddenly need coffee.
Writing workshop. Third revision. Instructor reads my chapter.
"It's missing something."
"Character depth?"
"No."
"Tension?"
"No."
"Symbolism?"
"Add a dog."
"Why?"
"So you can kill it in chapter 12."
"I don't want to kill a—"
"Do you want to be published or not?"
Workshop critique: "Deus ex machina! Lazy writing!"
Fine. Revised. Made god's appearance earned.
God appeared in chapter 19. Looked around. Pulled out paperwork.
"I've unionized," he said. "Speaking fee is 3000. Miracle fee is 8000. Saving protagonist from poor planning is 15000 plus residuals."
Protagonist died.
Workshop approved.
Writing workshop. Twelve people around a table. Manuscript passed around. 'Vivid imagery,' says the first. 'Authentic voice,' says the second. 'Oscar Wilde would be jealous,' says the third. 'The pacing is exquisite,' says the fourth. Author glowing. Best day of her life. Instructor leans back: 'Wonderful. Now — who actually read past page two?' Eleven people suddenly need coffee.
Writing workshop. Third revision. Instructor reads my chapter. "It's missing something." "Character depth?" "No." "Tension?" "No." "Symbolism?" "Add a dog." "Why?" "So you can kill it in chapter 12." "I don't want to kill a—" "Do you want to be published or not?"
Workshop critique: "Deus ex machina! Lazy writing!" Fine. Revised. Made god's appearance earned. God appeared in chapter 19. Looked around. Pulled out paperwork. "I've unionized," he said. "Speaking fee is 3000. Miracle fee is 8000. Saving protagonist from poor planning is 15000 plus residuals." Protagonist died. Workshop approved.
Nothing to read? Create your own book and read it! Like I do.
Create a book"Start telling the stories that only you can tell." — Neil Gaiman
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