The Inevitable Butler
Wrote plot twist. Wife guessed it. Rewrote twist. Wife guessed it again. Third twist.
Wife: "It's the butler, isn't it?"
There's no butler in my book.
Added butler.
He did it.
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Wrote plot twist. Wife guessed it. Rewrote twist. Wife guessed it again. Third twist.
Wife: "It's the butler, isn't it?"
There's no butler in my book.
Added butler.
He did it.
Editor's note: "Your red herring in chapter 9 is too obvious."
I didn't write a red herring in chapter 9.
I wrote an actual herring. Red scales. Swims. The detective was hungry. He ate it.
Now the mystery has no clues and the detective has lunch.
Editor: "Still too obvious."
I give up.
My detective solved the murder on page 12.
I had 300 pages outlined.
"Who's the killer?" I typed.
"The gardener. Obvious. Mud on the carpet didn't match the season."
I stared. He stared back.
"You're fired," I typed.
"You can't fire me. I know where the body is."
Now it's a thriller.
Wrote plot twist. Wife guessed it. Rewrote twist. Wife guessed it again. Third twist. Wife: "It's the butler, isn't it?" There's no butler in my book. Added butler. He did it.
Editor's note: "Your red herring in chapter 9 is too obvious." I didn't write a red herring in chapter 9. I wrote an actual herring. Red scales. Swims. The detective was hungry. He ate it. Now the mystery has no clues and the detective has lunch. Editor: "Still too obvious." I give up.
My detective solved the murder on page 12. I had 300 pages outlined. "Who's the killer?" I typed. "The gardener. Obvious. Mud on the carpet didn't match the season." I stared. He stared back. "You're fired," I typed. "You can't fire me. I know where the body is." Now it's a thriller.
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Create a book"Start telling the stories that only you can tell." β Neil Gaiman
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