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A thesaurus checks into a psychiatrist's office. 'Doctor, I'm struggling with my identity. I feel... lost, misplaced, adrift, displaced, bewildered, disoriented—' 'I see the problem,' says the psychiatrist. 'Is it serious, grave, critical, acute, severe, dire?' 'I'm afraid you have a redundancy complex, repetition syndrome, duplication disorder...' The thesaurus nods: 'I was worried, concerned, anxious, apprehensive, uneasy you'd say that.'

A dangling participle walks into a bar. Sipping his drink, the bartender asks what's wrong. 'That's exactly my problem,' the participle sighs. 'Everyone thinks YOU'RE the one sipping the drink. I've been misattached my whole life. My therapist says I have attachment issues.' The bartender nods sympathetically. 'Having heard that before, a refill seems appropriate.' 'See?!' shouts the participle. 'WHO heard it?! WHO?!'