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A literary antagonist decided to update his LinkedIn profile. Under 'Skills,' he listed: 'Monologuing, Revealing Plans Prematurely, Standing Menacingly in Doorways.' Under 'Experience,' he wrote: 'Provided meaningful conflict for protagonists across 47 novels. Consistently rated as hateable by readers. Expert at dying dramatically in final chapters.' His endorsements section just said: 'Would oppose again - The Hero.'
A mystery writer started seeing a therapist. After three sessions, the therapist said, 'I think I understand your childhood trauma now.' The writer nodded gravely, then added, 'But do you? Because everything I told you about my mother was actually about my father, my childhood dog was a metaphor for capitalism, and I've been dead the whole time.' The therapist sighed. 'This is why your health insurance dropped you, isn't it?' 'Plot twist,' the writer whispered, 'I AM the health insurance.'
A literary antagonist decided to update his LinkedIn profile. Under 'Skills,' he listed: 'Monologuing, Revealing Plans Prematurely, Standing Menacingly in Doorways.' Under 'Experience,' he wrote: 'Provided meaningful conflict for protagonists across 47 novels. Consistently rated as hateable by readers. Expert at dying dramatically in final chapters.' His endorsements section just said: 'Would oppose again - The Hero.'
A mystery writer started seeing a therapist. After three sessions, the therapist said, 'I think I understand your childhood trauma now.' The writer nodded gravely, then added, 'But do you? Because everything I told you about my mother was actually about my father, my childhood dog was a metaphor for capitalism, and I've been dead the whole time.' The therapist sighed. 'This is why your health insurance dropped you, isn't it?' 'Plot twist,' the writer whispered, 'I AM the health insurance.'
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