The Honest Word Processor

Writing software notification: 'You've typed "she sighed" 847 times.'

Ignored it.

New notification: 'She has now sighed more than medically possible. She's hyperventilating. Call an ambulance.'

Ignored it.

Final notification: 'She's dead. You killed her with sighs. Her last words were "finally." Happy now?'

I switched to "she exhaled."

Notification: 'We're watching you.'