Mr. Darcy Left You on Read: The Netherfield Ball Group Chat

**📱 BENNET FAMILY CHAT 💕**

**Mrs. Bennet** created group "NETHERFIELD BALL EMERGENCY 🚨"
**Mrs. Bennet** added Jane, Elizabeth, Mary, Kitty, Lydia, Mr. Bennet

**Mrs. Bennet:** GIRLS

**Mrs. Bennet:** GIRLS WAKE UP

**Mrs. Bennet:** THIS IS NOT A DRILL

**Lydia:** mum its 7am 😴

**Mrs. Bennet:** MR BINGLEY IS COMING TO THE BALL TONIGHT

**Mrs. Bennet:** AND HE HAS 5000 A YEAR

**Mrs. Bennet:** 5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣0️⃣

**Mrs. Bennet:** A YEAR

**Kitty:** we know mother you told us 47 times

**Mrs. Bennet:** AND HE'S BRINGING A FRIEND

**Mrs. Bennet:** MR DARCY

**Mrs. Bennet:** TEN THOUSAND A YEAR

**Mary:** Material wealth is but a fleeting comfort compared to—

**Mrs. Bennet:** MARY NOT NOW

**Elizabeth:** Good morning to you too mother

**Mrs. Bennet:** Lizzy you need to do something with your hair today I'm begging you

**Elizabeth:** My hair is fine

**Mrs. Bennet:** Jane you're our only hope

**Mrs. Bennet:** Smile a lot tonight

**Mrs. Bennet:** But not too much

**Mrs. Bennet:** But enough

**Mrs. Bennet:** You know what I mean

**Jane:** I'll just be myself, Mama 😊

**Mrs. Bennet:** NO JANE

**Mrs. Bennet:** BE BETTER THAN YOURSELF

**Mr. Bennet:** I see we're having a calm morning

**Mrs. Bennet:** Oh you're awake??? Maybe you could actually PARTICIPATE in securing futures for your daughters???

**Mr. Bennet:** I participated. I visited the man. My job is done.

**Mrs. Bennet:** You have no compassion for my poor nerves

**Mr. Bennet:** On the contrary, I have the highest respect for your nerves. They have been my constant companions for twenty years.

**Lydia:** LMAOOO dad woke up and chose violence 💀

**Elizabeth:** ☠️☠️☠️

**Mrs. Bennet:** I am SURROUNDED by ungrateful children

---

**📱 LIZZY & JANE PRIVATE CHAT 👯‍♀️**

**Lizzy:** you ready for tonight?

**Jane:** Nervous actually 😅

**Lizzy:** why?? you're literally the prettiest person in hertfordshire

**Jane:** You're biased because you're my sister

**Lizzy:** I'm biased because I have EYES

**Lizzy:** also mother will actually combust if you don't secure at least one dance with bingley

**Jane:** Don't remind me 😫

**Lizzy:** just be your sweet angelic self and he'll propose by the second set

**Jane:** LIZZY

**Lizzy:** I'm manifesting ✨

---

**📱 THE NETHERFIELD SQUAD 🎩**
*(Private group)*

**Members:** Charles Bingley, Fitzwilliam Darcy, Caroline Bingley, Mr. Hurst, Mrs. Hurst

**Bingley:** Tonight's going to be amazing!! Can't wait to meet everyone 🎉

**Darcy:** I'd rather not.

**Caroline:** Same tbh. Country balls are so... provincial.

**Bingley:** Come on you two!! It'll be fun! New friends! Dancing!

**Darcy:** You know I don't dance.

**Bingley:** You literally know how to dance. You're excellent at it.

**Darcy:** Knowing how and wanting to are different things.

**Caroline:** At least we'll suffer together, Mr. Darcy 😏

**Darcy:** 👍

**Bingley:** You're both impossible. I'm going to dance with EVERYONE.

**Mr. Hurst:** Is there food?

**Mrs. Hurst:** There's always food, dear.

**Mr. Hurst:** Then I'm satisfied.

---

**📱 HERTFORDSHIRE GOSSIP NETWORK 💅**
*(Local group chat - 47 members)*

**Charlotte Lucas:** They just arrived omgggg

**Maria Lucas:** THE CARRIAGES ARE BEAUTIFUL

**Lady Lucas:** Maria. Composure.

**Charlotte Lucas:** @Elizabeth you need to see this

**Elizabeth:** I see them

**Elizabeth:** The tall one looks like he stepped in something unpleasant and blamed the shoe

**Charlotte Lucas:** SCREAMING

**Charlotte Lucas:** That's Mr. Darcy btw. Ten thousand a year.

**Elizabeth:** He could have twenty thousand a year and that face would still say "I'd rather be literally anywhere else"

**Charlotte Lucas:** To be fair... same

**Mrs. Long:** Mr. Bingley just smiled at me!

**Mrs. Long:** Wait no he was looking past me

**Mrs. Long:** At Jane Bennet obviously

**Mrs. Bennet:** 👀👀👀

**Mrs. Bennet:** @Jane don't look now but HE'S LOOKING

---

**📱 LIZZY & JANE PRIVATE CHAT 👯‍♀️**

**Jane:** Lizzy he's so handsome 😭

**Lizzy:** I KNOW I see him looking at you

**Jane:** He asked me to dance!!!

**Lizzy:** JANE

**Jane:** I said yes obviously

**Lizzy:** AS YOU SHOULD

**Lizzy:** Go secure that bag sis 💰💕

**Jane:** It's not about money!

**Lizzy:** I know I know true love etc

**Lizzy:** but also 5000 a year doesn't hurt

**Jane:** ELIZABETH

**Lizzy:** I'm just saying mother has a point sometimes

**Lizzy:** once every seven years

**Lizzy:** like a cicada of wisdom

**Jane:** I'm going to dance now goodbye 😂

---

**📱 THE NETHERFIELD SQUAD 🎩**

**Bingley:** DARCY

**Bingley:** DARCY COME HERE

**Bingley:** Why are you standing in the corner like a Victorian ghost

**Darcy:** I'm fine here.

**Bingley:** You need to DANCE

**Darcy:** I really don't.

**Bingley:** Jane has a sister!! She's sitting right over there! She's very pretty!

**Darcy:** Which one? The one lecturing someone about Fordyce's sermons?

**Bingley:** No that's Mary

**Bingley:** Elizabeth! The one with the fine eyes!

**Darcy:** She's tolerable I suppose, but not handsome enough to tempt me.

**Darcy:** I'm not in the mood to give consequence to young ladies slighted by other men.

**Darcy:** Go back to your partner and enjoy her smiles. You're wasting your time with me.

**Bingley:** Wow

**Bingley:** That was unnecessarily harsh

**Caroline:** 🍿

---

**📱 LIZZY & CHARLOTTE PRIVATE CHAT 🫖**

**Charlotte:** Lizzy

**Charlotte:** LIZZY

**Charlotte:** Please tell me you didn't just hear that

**Elizabeth:** Oh I heard it

**Charlotte:** "Tolerable"???? "Not handsome enough to tempt me"????

**Elizabeth:** I WAS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE

**Elizabeth:** He didn't even lower his voice

**Charlotte:** The AUDACITY

**Elizabeth:** You know what

**Elizabeth:** I'm not even mad

**Charlotte:** You're not?

**Elizabeth:** I find it genuinely hilarious

**Elizabeth:** Imagine being that rich and that rude

**Elizabeth:** Pick a struggle sir

**Charlotte:** 💀💀💀

**Elizabeth:** Also "not handsome enough to tempt me" is going to be my new bio

**Charlotte:** PLEASE

**Elizabeth:** I'm owning it

**Elizabeth:** Certified Untempter™️

---

**📱 BENNET FAMILY CHAT 💕**

**Lydia:** GUYS MR DARCY JUST INSULTED LIZZY

**Kitty:** WHAT

**Lydia:** He said she wasn't pretty enough to dance with!!!

**Mary:** Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18.

**Mrs. Bennet:** WHAT DID HE SAY

**Lydia:** He called her "tolerable" 💀

**Mrs. Bennet:** That HORRIBLE man

**Mrs. Bennet:** I don't care if he has 10000 a year

**Mrs. Bennet:** He could have 50000 a year

**Mrs. Bennet:** We don't want him

**Elizabeth:** Honestly mother for once I agree with you

**Mrs. Bennet:** See?? I told you he had a disagreeable look about him

**Mr. Bennet:** You told us he had ten thousand a year and we should pursue him relentlessly

**Mrs. Bennet:** I NEVER

**Mr. Bennet:** [Screenshot of previous message: "MR DARCY TEN THOUSAND A YEAR"]

**Mrs. Bennet:** THAT WAS BEFORE HE INSULTED MY DAUGHTER

**Elizabeth:** Can we focus on the positive here

**Elizabeth:** Jane is dancing with Bingley and they look adorable

**Mrs. Bennet:** JANE 😍😍😍

**Mrs. Bennet:** My beautiful Jane

**Mrs. Bennet:** Unlike SOME people who insult young ladies at public assemblies

**Elizabeth:** Mother please let it go

**Mrs. Bennet:** I will NEVER let it go

**Mrs. Bennet:** My nerves Lizzy

**Mrs. Bennet:** MY NERVES

---

**📱 HERTFORDSHIRE GOSSIP NETWORK 💅**

**Charlotte Lucas:** Update from the ball: Mr. Darcy has danced with exactly 0 people

**Mrs. Phillips:** My niece Elizabeth was SNUBBED by him

**Lady Lucas:** How shocking. How completely unexpected. How—

**Mrs. Bennet:** Lady Lucas I hear your tone through the text

**Charlotte Lucas:** Mother behave

**Sir William Lucas:** I tried to introduce myself to Mr. Darcy! Very noble looking gentleman!

**Charlotte Lucas:** Dad what did he do

**Sir William Lucas:** He looked at me like I was a particularly uninteresting piece of furniture

**Charlotte Lucas:** Sounds about right

**Mrs. Long:** Mr. Bingley has danced TWICE with Jane Bennet

**Mrs. Bennet:** Twice!!! 😭😭😭

**Mrs. Bennet:** My beautiful girl

**Elizabeth:** Update: Darcy is still standing in the corner looking pained

**Elizabeth:** He keeps glancing this way though

**Charlotte Lucas:** Maybe he's reconsidering his assessment of your tolerability

**Elizabeth:** I'd rather he continued to ignore me honestly

**Elizabeth:** Less effort for everyone involved

---

**📱 THE NETHERFIELD SQUAD 🎩**

**Bingley:** BEST NIGHT EVER

**Bingley:** Jane is an absolute ANGEL

**Bingley:** She laughs at my jokes Darcy

**Bingley:** She actually laughs

**Darcy:** Most people are simply polite.

**Bingley:** You wound me

**Caroline:** What did you think of the local society, Mr. Darcy?

**Darcy:** I found little to interest me.

**Bingley:** You barely talked to anyone!

**Darcy:** Exactly.

**Bingley:** What about Elizabeth Bennet? You could have danced with her. I told you she was pretty.

**Darcy:** I believe I expressed my opinion on that matter.

**Caroline:** I couldn't help but overhear... and I must say she DID have a sort of... country freshness about her

**Darcy:** She had fine eyes.

**Bingley:** ???

**Caroline:** ???

**Darcy:** I said what I said.

**Bingley:** You literally said she wasn't handsome enough to tempt you????

**Darcy:** Her eyes are fine. That's a separate observation.

**Caroline:** This is fascinating character development

**Darcy:** I'm going to bed.

*Darcy has gone offline*

**Bingley:** Did he just...

**Caroline:** He did

**Bingley:** Interesting 🤔

---

**📱 LIZZY & JANE PRIVATE CHAT 👯‍♀️**

**Jane:** Home safe! Tonight was magical ✨

**Elizabeth:** For one of us at least

**Jane:** Lizzy don't let that horrible man ruin your night

**Elizabeth:** Oh he didn't ruin it

**Elizabeth:** He provided excellent entertainment value

**Elizabeth:** I dined out on that story all evening

**Jane:** You told everyone?

**Elizabeth:** Charlotte and I have been laughing about it for hours

**Elizabeth:** "Not handsome enough to tempt me" like sir your personality is the real 4/10 here

**Jane:** You're terrible 😂

**Elizabeth:** I'm honest

**Elizabeth:** Anyway tell me everything about Mr. Bingley

**Jane:** He's wonderful 🥺

**Jane:** He's kind and funny and easy to talk to

**Jane:** And he seems genuinely interested in what I have to say

**Elizabeth:** That's the bare minimum but I'm glad he meets it

**Jane:** LIZZY

**Elizabeth:** I'm happy for you truly

**Elizabeth:** Just... be careful okay?

**Jane:** Careful?

**Elizabeth:** Rich men from London don't always stay in the country

**Jane:** I know

**Jane:** But I think... I really think he likes me

**Elizabeth:** Of course he does. You're perfect.

**Jane:** He asked if we'd meet again soon 😊

**Elizabeth:** JANE

**Elizabeth:** That's basically a proposal in Bingley language

**Jane:** Stop 😭

**Elizabeth:** I'm manifesting for you so hard rn ✨✨✨

**Jane:** What about you? Any prospects?

**Elizabeth:** After tonight? I think I'll focus on my reading

**Elizabeth:** Men are temporary

**Elizabeth:** Being "tolerable" is forever

**Jane:** Goodnight you ridiculous person 💕

**Elizabeth:** Night Jane 💕

---

**📱 BENNET FAMILY CHAT 💕**

*The next morning*

**Mrs. Bennet:** GOOD MORNING TO EVERYONE EXCEPT MR DARCY

**Mr. Bennet:** Ah. We're still doing this.

**Mrs. Bennet:** We will be doing this FOREVER

**Mrs. Bennet:** Jane how are you feeling this morning my love

**Jane:** Very well, Mama 😊

**Mrs. Bennet:** Of course you are!!! Mr. Bingley danced with you TWICE

**Lydia:** When's the wedding 👀

**Jane:** LYDIA

**Kitty:** I heard Mr. Bingley's friend Mr. Darcy has a house in Derbyshire that's worth 10000 a year

**Mrs. Bennet:** We don't speak of him in this house

**Elizabeth:** The house itself is worth 10000 a year? That's not how houses work

**Kitty:** You know what I mean!!

**Mary:** Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain.

**Lydia:** Nobody asked Mary

**Mrs. Bennet:** Children. Focus. Mr. Bingley.

**Mrs. Bennet:** We need a STRATEGY

**Mr. Bennet:** Heaven help us.

**Elizabeth:** I'm going for a walk

**Mrs. Bennet:** Lizzy you WILL participate in family discussions about your sister's romantic prospects

**Elizabeth:** I support Jane unconditionally from a distance

**Elizabeth:** Specifically the distance between here and Oakham Mount

*Elizabeth has gone offline*

**Mrs. Bennet:** THAT GIRL

**Mr. Bennet:** She gets it from you, my dear.

**Mrs. Bennet:** She absolutely does NOT

**Jane:** I'll talk to her when she gets back 😊

**Mrs. Bennet:** You're my favorite Jane

**Lydia:** MUM

**Kitty:** Rude!!

**Mary:** Favoritism breeds resentment and—

**Mrs. Bennet:** BREAKFAST. NOW. ALL OF YOU.

---

*To be continued... maybe. If Mr. Darcy ever learns social skills.*

*Spoiler alert: He doesn't. But somehow that works out anyway.*

*#Pemberley2024 #TolerableAndProudOfIt #NotHandsomeEnoughToTemptMe*