Classics Now Feb 13, 04:26 AM

Jane Eyre's Wedding Day From Hell: The Instagram Stories Nobody Asked For

JANE EYRE'S WEDDING DAY FROM HELL ๐Ÿ’’๐Ÿ”ฅ
The Instagram Stories Nobody Asked For

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๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 1 โ€” Posted by @plain_jane_eyre
[Photo: Mirror selfie in a simple white dress, no veil yet. Morning light through a gothic window. Caption overlaid.]

"Wedding day. Still can't believe this is real. A literal orphan governess marrying the lord of the manor. ๐Ÿฅน Someone pinch me."

๐Ÿ’ฌ Comments:
@adele_varens_official: MADEMOISELLE YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ
@mrs_fairfax_thornfield: I still have a strange feeling about all this, dear. But you look lovely.
@jane_eyre_fan_club: QUEEN ๐Ÿ‘‘
@diana_rivers: Wait you're getting MARRIED?? To whom??

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๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 2 โ€” Posted by @plain_jane_eyre
[Boomerang: Jane spinning around in the hallway of Thornfield, dress swishing]

"No bridesmaids. No family. No massive guest list. Just me, Rochester, and God. Honestly? Perfect. ๐Ÿค"

Poll sticker: "Is this romantic or suspicious?"
Romantic: 34%
Suspicious: 66%

๐Ÿ’ฌ DM from @mrs_fairfax_thornfield:
"Jane dear, did Mr. Rochester ever explain what's on the third floor? I only ask becauseโ€”"
[Seen โœ“]

---

๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 3 โ€” Posted by @plain_jane_eyre
[Photo: Walking toward the small church at Thornfield. Grey sky. Rochester waiting at the door in a dark coat, looking intense as usual.]

"He looks like he hasn't slept. Honestly that's just his face. My dark, dramatic, slightly unhinged king. ๐Ÿ–ค"

Music sticker: ๐ŸŽต "Chapel of Love" by The Dixie Cups

๐Ÿ’ฌ Comments:
@blanche_ingram_official: Lmaooo WHAT. He's marrying the GOVERNESS?? I literally cannot. ๐Ÿ’€
@blanche_ingram_official: I was RIGHT THERE. I had the connections. The wardrobe. The cheekbones.
@lord_ingram: Blanche, log off.

---

๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 4 โ€” Posted by @plain_jane_eyre
[Video: Inside the church. Dark, intimate. Rochester gripping Jane's hands a little too tightly. The priest is speaking.]

"'If any of you know cause or just impediment why these two persons should not be joined together in holy matrimonyโ€”'"

Caption: "This is it. This is actually happening. I'm going to be Mrs. Rochโ€”"

[Video cuts abruptly]

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๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 5 โ€” Posted by @plain_jane_eyre
[Black screen. White text.]

"Someone just stood up."

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๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 6 โ€” Posted by @plain_jane_eyre
[Black screen. White text, shaking effect.]

"SOMEONE JUST STOOD UP IN THE CHURCH AND SAID THE WEDDING CANNOT PROCEED."

"I am literally at the altar."

"Rochester's face just went WHITE."

๐Ÿ’ฌ Comments:
@adele_varens_official: ???
@diana_rivers: JANE??
@mrs_fairfax_thornfield: Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear.
@blanche_ingram_official: ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿฟ

---

๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 7 โ€” Posted by @plain_jane_eyre
[Shaky video: A man in a suit (Mr. Briggs, solicitor) standing in the church aisle, reading from a paper. Another man beside him looking pale and sickly.]

"This man โ€” a LAWYER โ€” just announced that Edward Fairfax Rochester has an existing wife. EXISTING. WIFE. As in: ALIVE. AS IN: CURRENTLY LIVING."

Caption: "I need to sit down. I am going to pass out in this church."

Question sticker: "What would you do?"
Responses flooding in:
- "RUN"
- "throw the bouquet at his HEAD"
- "girl get a lawyer"
- "wait... where is the wife tho ๐Ÿ‘€"

---

๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 8 โ€” Posted by @plain_jane_eyre
[Video: Rochester grabbing Jane's arm, dragging her out of the church. His jaw clenched. The solicitor and the pale man following.]

"Rochester isn't even DENYING it. He just said โ€” and I quote โ€” 'I have been married, and the woman to whom I was married lives.'"

"He's pulling me back to Thornfield. Says he wants to SHOW me something."

"Show me WHAT, Edward?? YOUR WIFE??"

Caption: "Apparently yes. That is exactly what he wants to show me."

๐Ÿ’ฌ Comments:
@blanche_ingram_official: I am SCREAMING. Oh my GOD I dodged a bullet.
@st_john_rivers: This is deeply immoral.
@diana_rivers: Jane please be safe!!
@random_follower_42: this is better than any reality TV I've ever seen

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๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 9 โ€” Posted by @plain_jane_eyre
[Photo: The dark staircase of Thornfield Hall. Third floor. A heavy door with a lock. Rochester holding a key.]

"We're going to the third floor. THE THIRD FLOOR. The one I was always told was just storage. The one where I heard laughing at 2am and Rochester said it was the servant Grace Poole."

"It was NOT Grace Poole."

"It was never Grace Poole."

Caption: "The red flags were RED and I painted them pink ๐Ÿšฉโžก๏ธ๐Ÿฉท"

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๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 10 โ€” Posted by @plain_jane_eyre
[Dark, shaky video: Door opens. A room with no windows, heavy curtains. A figure moving in the shadows โ€” large, dark-haired, crawling on all fours, then lunging.]

"I can'tโ€” I don't even know how to describe what I'm looking at."

"There is a WOMAN in this room. She LUNGED at Rochester. She BIT him. Grace Poole is here trying to restrain her."

"This is Bertha Mason. His WIFE."

Caption: "She's been here. This whole time. Above my bedroom. Every night."

[Content warning sticker added]

๐Ÿ’ฌ Comments:
@adele_varens_official: I AM A CHILD AND THIS IS TERRIFYING
@mrs_fairfax_thornfield: I tried to warn you, Jane. I tried.
@diana_rivers: Please tell me you're leaving.
@random_follower_42: the third floor was NOT storage??? ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€
@gothic_literature_daily: This is the most Thornfield thing that has ever Thornfielded

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๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 11 โ€” Posted by @edward_rochester_official
[Photo: Rochester alone in his study, head in hands. Fire in the background. Glass of something amber nearby.]

"Before you all come for me โ€” let me EXPLAIN."

"I was tricked into that marriage. My father and brother arranged it for the fortune. I didn't know about the hereditary madness until after the wedding. I was TWENTY ONE."

"I've been trapped for fifteen years. FIFTEEN. YEARS."

"Jane is the first real thing I've ever had."

Caption: "I know I should have told her. I know."

๐Ÿ’ฌ Comments:
@plain_jane_eyre: You locked your wife in an attic, Edward.
@blanche_ingram_official: And you were going to commit BIGAMY?? Sir??
@st_john_rivers: Repent.
@richard_mason_official: That's my SISTER up there, you monster.
@pilot_the_dog: ๐Ÿ• [Rochester's dog's fan account, just vibes]
@feminism_1847: We need to talk about how Bertha has no voice in this narrative.

---

๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 12 โ€” Posted by @plain_jane_eyre
[Photo: Jane sitting on the floor of her small governess room. Still in the white dress. Eyes red. Bag visible in the corner.]

"He begged me to stay. Said we could go to the south of France. Live as if we were married. Said no one would know."

"I would know."

"He said: 'Who in the world cares for you?'"

"And I said: 'I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.'"

Caption: "That's the tweet. That's the whole thing. ๐Ÿ’”"

Music sticker: ๐ŸŽต "good 4 u" by Olivia Rodrigo

๐Ÿ’ฌ Comments:
@diana_rivers: JANE. THAT LINE. I am putting that on a poster.
@feminism_1847: THIS IS THE MOMENT. THIS RIGHT HERE. ๐Ÿ”ฅ
@adele_varens_official: Please don't leave me here ๐Ÿฅบ
@mrs_fairfax_thornfield: I'll look after Adele, dear. You do what you must.
@self_respect_daily: Reposted to our page. Icon behavior.
@blanche_ingram_official: ...okay that was actually powerful. I'll give her that.

---

๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 13 โ€” Posted by @plain_jane_eyre
[Photo: Dawn. A road leading away from Thornfield. One small bag. The white dress replaced with a plain traveling outfit. Shot from behind โ€” Jane walking into grey morning mist.]

"Left before sunrise. Took almost nothing. Didn't say goodbye because I would have stayed."

"I love him. That's the worst part. I love him and I still left."

"But I will not be someone's secret. I will not live a half-life in the shadows of a house that has a woman screaming in its walls."

Caption: "Chapter closed. ๐Ÿ“–"

Location sticker: ๐Ÿ“ Leaving Thornfield Hall

๐Ÿ’ฌ Comments:
@edward_rochester_official: Jane. Jane please. Come back. I'll do anything.
@plain_jane_eyre: [Did not respond]
@diana_rivers: Come find us. We're family. You don't know it yet but we are.
@the_moors_official: She's out here wandering with no money and no food. Someone help this woman.
@random_follower_42: I am SOBBING at 3am because of a GOVERNESS
@gothic_literature_daily: And she just... walked away. Into nothing. With nothing. Because her self-respect was worth more than a mansion.

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๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 14 โ€” Posted by @plain_jane_eyre
[Black screen. Small white text.]

"Three days on the moors. No food. No money. Slept outside. Nearly died."

"But I'm still here."

"I'd rather die free on a moor than live as a lie in a mansion."

Slider sticker: "How destroyed are you rn?" ๐Ÿ˜ญ
[Slider at 100%]

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๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 15 โ€” Posted by @plain_jane_eyre
[Photo: A modest cottage door. A hand reaching out to help her inside. Warm light from within.]

"Some people just took me in. Fed me. Gave me a bed."

"Their names are Diana, Mary, and St. John Rivers."

"I think the universe is not done with me yet."

Caption: "New chapter. Literally. ๐Ÿ“–โœจ"

๐Ÿ’ฌ Comments:
@diana_rivers: WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU. Also surprise โ€” we're your cousins??
@st_john_rivers: God's plan.
@mrs_fairfax_thornfield: Thank heavens she's safe.
@adele_varens_official: When are you coming back? ๐Ÿฅบ
@edward_rochester_official: [Typing...]
@edward_rochester_official: [Typing...]
@edward_rochester_official: [Has left the chat]

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๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 16 โ€” Posted by @thornfield_local_news
[Photo: Thornfield Hall engulfed in flames against a night sky. Massive fire. Roof collapsed.]

๐Ÿ”ด BREAKING: Thornfield Hall destroyed in massive fire. Reports say Bertha Mason Rochester set the blaze and jumped from the roof. Mr. Rochester attempted rescue โ€” survived but sustained severe injuries including loss of sight.

๐Ÿ’ฌ Comments:
@the_entire_county: ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ
@blanche_ingram_official: I have no words.
@grace_poole_official: I tried. I tried to keep her safe. I failed.
@feminism_1847: Bertha deserved better than this story gave her. Rest in peace.
@diana_rivers: Jane... have you seen this?

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๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 17 โ€” Posted by @plain_jane_eyre
[Photo: Jane's hand holding a phone, screen showing the news about Thornfield. Tears visible on the screen reflection.]

"He's alive. He's blind. He's free."

"And I just inherited money from my uncle so I'm not a penniless orphan anymore."

"The universe has the WILDEST narrative structure."

Caption: "I know what I have to do."

๐Ÿ’ฌ Comments:
@diana_rivers: Go. We'll be here when you get back.
@st_john_rivers: I literally just proposed to you for the mission trip and you're going BACK to him??
@plain_jane_eyre: @st_john_rivers I said what I said, St. John.
@reader_in_2024: GOOOOOO ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ

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๐Ÿ“ฑ STORY 18 โ€” FINALE โ€” Posted by @plain_jane_eyre
[Photo: A smaller house. A garden. Rochester standing in the doorway, scarred, blind, reaching out. Jane taking his hand.]

"'I am an independent woman now, Edward. I come back to you of my own free will.'"

"He cried. I cried. Reader, I married him. FOR REAL THIS TIME. ๐Ÿ’"

"No attic wives. No secrets. No impediments. Just two broken people choosing each other with open eyes โ€” well. With open hearts."

Caption: "Equal. Finally equal. ๐Ÿค"

Music sticker: ๐ŸŽต "Love Story (Taylor's Version)" by Taylor Swift

๐Ÿ’ฌ Comments:
@diana_rivers: I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ
@adele_varens_official: PAPA ROCHESTER AND MADEMOISELLE TOGETHER!! ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰
@mrs_fairfax_thornfield: Finally. FINALLY.
@blanche_ingram_official: ...fine. They're cute. I GUESS.
@feminism_1847: She came back on HER terms. With HER money. As HIS equal. That's the point.
@gothic_literature_daily: Charlotte Brontรซ did NOT have to go this hard in 1847 but she DID.
@pilot_the_dog: ๐Ÿ•โค๏ธ
@reader_in_2024: This is the greatest love story ever told and I will accept no arguments.
@charlotte_bronte_estate: ๐Ÿ–‹๏ธ๐Ÿค

---

[Final Story โ€” Fade to black]

"Reader, I married him. A quiet wedding. No crowd. No impediment.

Just us.

And this time, it was real."

โ€” Jane Eyre, signing off ๐Ÿค

#JaneEyre #ThornfieldHall #ReaderIMarriedHim #GothicRomance #IndependentWoman #BrontรซSisters #ClassicLit #BookTok #WeddingFromHell #AtticWife #SelfRespect #LoveStory

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"Start telling the stories that only you can tell." โ€” Neil Gaiman