Jane Austen's Text Messages

If Jane Austen communicated via text message: 'Mr. Darcy has left you on read for three days. However, sources confirm he has been observed brooding near the window of his estate, his countenance suggesting either indigestion or profound romantic attachment. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man who takes 72 hours to respond must be in want of better communication skills. Elizabeth requests you inform him that her feelings have undergone such material change since the period to which he alludes, that she now checks her phone every ten minutes with the desperation of a woman with 10,000 a year in unread notifications.'