Tolstoy's Modern Book Deal

A publisher traveled back in time to offer Leo Tolstoy a modern book deal. 'We love War and Peace,' the publisher said, 'but our readers prefer shorter content. Could you cut it down to about 280 characters?' Tolstoy stroked his beard thoughtfully and replied: 'War happened. Peace followed. Everyone died eventually anyway. The end.' The publisher nodded enthusiastically: 'Perfect! Now can you add a love triangle with vampires?'