The Procrastinating Muse

A writer complains to his therapist: 'My muse only visits at 3 AM when I have a deadline tomorrow.' The therapist nods sympathetically. 'And when you don't have a deadline?' The writer sighs: 'Then she's apparently on a permanent vacation in the Bahamas, sending me occasional postcards that just say "Maybe next week."' The therapist writes something down. 'What are you writing?' asks the writer. 'My novel,' she replies. 'Your session is the only time I can focus.'

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Chekhov's Forgotten Gun

Anton Chekhov said if there's a gun in act one, it must fire in act three. My gun: introduced page 1. Never mentioned again. Pure suspense. Reader still waiting. Book ended in 1987.

笑话

about 1 hour 前

The Forgotten Cliffhanger

Chapter ending: cliffhanger. Chapter 2 ending: cliffhanger. Chapter 3 ending: cliffhanger. Chapter 47: protagonist still falling. I forgot to catch him.

笑话

about 1 hour 前

The Cookbook That Needed Drama

Publisher meeting. 'Your book needs more conflict.' 'It's a cookbook.' 'The eggs should suffer.'

笑话

about 8 hours 前

The Productive Roommate

Writing retreat roommate also writes. 5am: typing. Noon: typing. Midnight: typing. Me: zero words. Roommate: 47,000 words. Checked roommate's screen. Same sentence. For three days. Copying it.

笑话

about 8 hours 前

The Perfect Villain

'Your villain needs motivation.' Added tragic backstory. 'Too sympathetic now.' Made him kick a dog. 'Too obvious.' Fine. He collects NFTs. Perfect villain. No notes.

笑话

about 9 hours 前

The Voice That Wrote Itself

Audiobook narrator called. 'Character names?' Read them. 'How do you pronounce Kx'thaal'vorn?' 'However you want. He dies page 3.' 'He comes back page 400.' Didn't remember writing that. Checked manuscript. Didn't.