The Helpful Plot Twist

My unreliable narrator is so unreliable, he changed his own backstory between chapters 3 and 7. I didn't notice until it was in print. Readers: "Is this intentional?" Me: "Absolutely. Literary technique." Narrator, in chapter 12: "It wasn't intentional. He's lying to you." I didn't write that either. We're in negotiations now.

Manuscript retreat. 10 writers. Beautiful cabin. Host announces: "We'll do a murder mystery game!" Day 1: Clues hidden. Everyone suspects everyone. Day 2: Accusations fly. Drama. Day 3: Actual murder. Of my chapter 12. Someone rewrote it entirely. Police refused to investigate. "Creative differences aren't criminal, sir." The murderer submitted my book under their name. Won an award.

6 AM. Coffee. 7 AM. Writing. One paragraph. 8 AM. Coffee. Stare at paragraph. 9 AM. Research fonts. 10 AM. Coffee. Different mug might help. 11 AM. Perfect mug found. 12 PM. Lunch. Deserved. 1 PM. Nap. Creative recovery. 5 PM. One sentence added. 6 PM. Deleted paragraph. Productive day.

Coffee shop writing. Laptop on table. Bathroom break. Laptop gone. Filed report. Mourned manuscript. Three days later. Laptop returned. Post-it note attached. 'Chapter 4 drags. Cut the dream sequence. Protagonist is unlikeable. Also, your password is too obvious.'

Workshop advice: kill your darlings. Killed my darling. Favorite paragraph. Gone. Darling came back. Chapter 7. Brought friends. Now they're plotting against the protagonist. I didn't write this scene.

Editor's note on chapter 7: 'This section drags.' Chapter 7 is the grandmother's funeral. 'Could the mourning be faster?' Rewrote. Grandmother buried in two paragraphs. New note: 'Now add more emotion.' She's already underground, Margaret.