The First Typo

Editor's note on chapter 7: 'This section drags.' Chapter 7 is the grandmother's funeral. 'Could the mourning be faster?' Rewrote. Grandmother buried in two paragraphs. New note: 'Now add more emotion.' She's already underground, Margaret.

Beta reader feedback: 'This character on page 89 seems unnecessary.' Checked page 89. Character responded in margins: 'I seem very necessary.' Asked beta reader for clarification. No response. Checked manuscript again. Page 90. New sentence I didn't write: 'The critic will not be missed.'

Index cards for plotting. 47 cards. Color-coded. Three acts. Perfect structure. Window open. Wind blew. Order lost. Spent two hours rearranging. Beta reader: 'Best plot you've ever written.' I don't remember the original order. Neither does the wind.

Writing cabin rented. Remote. Alone. Peaceful. Day 1: 5,000 words. Romance novel flowing. Day 2: scratching in walls. Probably mice. Day 3: scratching louder. Probably not mice. Day 4: submitted manuscript. Horror genre. Editor: 'This feels authentic.' Still in cabin. Send help.

Beta reader: 'The butler seems suspicious.' No butler in my book. Checked manuscript. Page 134. Butler. Serving tea. Has been there for three chapters. I didn't write him. He winked.

Author bio needed. '(Name) lives with two cats and regret.' Publisher: 'Maybe something happier?' Fine. 'Three cats.'