Pip's Graveyard Nightmare: The Convict Who Slid Into His DMs (and His Life)

📱 WHATSAPP CHAT LOG 📱

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
🪦 CHRISTMAS EVE - THE MARSHES 🪦
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

**Pip** created group "my traumatic childhood 🎄"
**Pip** added **Joe Gargery**, **Mrs. Joe**

**Pip** 🟢 Online
[17:43] Pip: just visiting mum and dad's graves again
[17:43] Pip: it's freezing out here ngl
[17:44] Pip: the marshes are giving horror movie vibes rn
[17:44] Pip: like if someone jumped out at me i would literally d

**Unknown Number** 🟢 Online
[17:44] Unknown Number: HOLD STILL YOU LITTLE DEVIL

[17:44] Pip: AAAAAAAAAAAA
[17:44] Pip: WHO ARE YOU
[17:44] Pip: HOW DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER

[17:45] Unknown Number: DONT SCREAM OR ILL CUT YOUR THROAT

[17:45] Pip: sir this is a graveyard
[17:45] Pip: im literally 7

[17:45] Unknown Number: WHERE DO U LIVE
[17:45] Unknown Number: and whats ur name

[17:46] Pip: Pip sir
[17:46] Pip: I live with my sister and her husband Joe
[17:46] Pip: please dont kill me its almost christmas 🎄😭

[17:46] Unknown Number: ok pip heres the deal
[17:46] Unknown Number: ur gonna bring me a FILE and FOOD
[17:46] Unknown Number: tomorrow morning. early.
[17:47] Unknown Number: or else my friend who is hiding nearby
[17:47] Unknown Number: will TEAR OUT YOUR HEART AND LIVER

[17:47] Pip: my heart AND my liver???
[17:47] Pip: sir thats two organs

[17:47] Unknown Number: DID I STUTTER

[17:47] Pip: no sir absolutely not
[17:47] Pip: file and food got it
[17:47] Pip: 👍👍👍
[17:48] Pip: would you prefer sourdough or regular bread

[17:48] Unknown Number: I DONT CARE JUST BRING IT
[17:48] Unknown Number: and if u tell anyone
[17:48] Unknown Number: 🔪❤️🫁

[17:48] Pip: understood sir have a lovely evening

**Pip** saved contact as "Scary Marsh Man 🔪"

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
🏠 PIP & JOE'S PRIVATE CHAT 🏠
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[18:30] Pip: Joe
[18:30] Pip: hypothetically
[18:30] Pip: if someone needed to steal food from Mrs. Joe's pantry
[18:30] Pip: how would one do that without getting the Tickler

[18:32] Joe: pip mate
[18:32] Joe: we dont steal from mrs joe
[18:32] Joe: ever
[18:32] Joe: the tickler is NOT hypothetical 😰

[18:33] Pip: yeah but hypothetically

[18:33] Joe: hypothetically id say your prayers first
[18:33] Joe: shes made a pork pie for christmas dinner
[18:33] Joe: she counts them pip
[18:33] Joe: SHE COUNTS THEM

[18:34] Pip: 😬

[18:34] Joe: why are you asking

[18:34] Pip: no reason
[18:34] Pip: completely unrelated
[18:34] Pip: anyway where does she keep the files

[18:35] Joe: the WHAT

[18:35] Pip: for filing
[18:35] Pip: wood filing
[18:35] Pip: a carpentry question
[18:35] Pip: im getting into woodwork

[18:36] Joe: pip ur 7

[18:36] Pip: never too young to learn a trade Joe

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
🌅 CHRISTMAS MORNING - 5AM 🌅
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[05:02] Pip → Scary Marsh Man 🔪: ok im coming
[05:02] Pip: i have the pork pie, bread, brandy, and the file
[05:02] Pip: i am also shaking like a leaf
[05:03] Pip: my guilt level is at like 47000%

[05:15] Scary Marsh Man 🔪: 🍖🍖🍖
[05:15] Scary Marsh Man 🔪: *[Voice Message - 0:03]* 🔊
(sounds of aggressive eating)

[05:16] Pip: sir are you ok
[05:16] Pip: thats a lot of pork pie very fast

[05:16] Scary Marsh Man 🔪: *[Voice Message - 0:08]* 🔊
(more eating sounds, occasional grunting, a sob)

[05:17] Pip: are you... crying?

[05:17] Scary Marsh Man 🔪: NO
[05:17] Scary Marsh Man 🔪: its the cold
[05:17] Scary Marsh Man 🔪: my eyes are watering
[05:17] Scary Marsh Man 🔪: because of the wind

[05:18] Pip: ok sir 🥺

[05:18] Scary Marsh Man 🔪: now get out of here
[05:18] Scary Marsh Man 🔪: and pip
[05:18] Scary Marsh Man 🔪: thanks

[05:19] Pip: 🥲

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
⏩ YEARS LATER - PIP IS NOW A TEENAGER ⏩
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

**Miss Havisham** created group "Satis House Playdates 🕯️🕸️"
**Miss Havisham** added **Pip**, **Estella**

[14:00] Miss Havisham: pip come to my house
[14:00] Miss Havisham: i need a boy to play with estella

[14:01] Pip: play what exactly

[14:01] Miss Havisham: cards
[14:01] Miss Havisham: and emotional manipulation
[14:01] Miss Havisham: mostly the second one

[14:02] Estella: ugh
[14:02] Estella: mother do i HAVE to
[14:02] Estella: he has coarse hands
[14:02] Estella: and thick boots

[14:03] Pip: i can literally see these messages estella

[14:03] Estella: i know 💅

[14:04] Miss Havisham: YES estella
[14:04] Miss Havisham: break his heart
[14:04] Miss Havisham: i mean
[14:04] Miss Havisham: play cards

[14:05] Pip: this seems like a healthy dynamic

[14:06] Estella: are you crying?

[14:06] Pip: NO
[14:06] Pip: its the dust in this house
[14:06] Pip: speaking of which ms havisham when was the last time you cleaned
[14:06] Pip: theres a wedding cake on the table and i think it predates me

[14:07] Miss Havisham: WE DONT TALK ABOUT THE CAKE

[14:07] Estella: 😂

[14:07] Pip: did she just...
[14:07] Pip: did estella just laugh at something i said
[14:07] Pip: ❤️❤️❤️

[14:08] Estella: dont read into it
[14:08] Estella: common boy

[14:08] Pip: im in love

[14:09] Joe → Pip: how was the playdate mate

[14:09] Pip: joe i need to become a gentleman
[14:09] Pip: immediately
[14:09] Pip: my hands are too coarse joe
[14:09] Pip: MY BOOTS ARE TOO THICK

[14:10] Joe: pip what happened in that house

[14:10] Pip: heartbreak joe
[14:10] Pip: sophisticated, upper-class heartbreak

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
⏩ EVEN MORE YEARS LATER ⏩
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

**Mr. Jaggers** 🟢 Online

[10:00] Mr. Jaggers → Pip: Good morning. I am a lawyer.
[10:00] Mr. Jaggers: I will get straight to the point.
[10:00] Mr. Jaggers: You have a secret benefactor.
[10:01] Mr. Jaggers: They wish to give you a large fortune.
[10:01] Mr. Jaggers: You are to move to London immediately.
[10:01] Mr. Jaggers: You will become a gentleman.
[10:01] Mr. Jaggers: You must never ask who the benefactor is.

[10:02] Pip: sorry WHAT
[10:02] Pip: is this a scam
[10:02] Pip: this feels like one of those "congratulations you've won" emails

[10:03] Mr. Jaggers: I assure you it is not.
[10:03] Mr. Jaggers: I am Mr. Jaggers of Little Britain.
[10:03] Mr. Jaggers: Google me.

[10:04] Pip: ok wow you ARE legit
[10:04] Pip: 4.8 stars on google reviews
[10:04] Pip: "terrifying but effective" lmao

[10:05] Mr. Jaggers: Do you accept the terms.

[10:05] Pip: a mysterious fortune??? becoming a gentleman???
[10:05] Pip: this is OBVIOUSLY miss havisham preparing me for estella
[10:05] Pip: its SO obvious
[10:06] Pip: she wants me to be worthy of estella
[10:06] Pip: the romantic gesture of the CENTURY

[10:06] Mr. Jaggers: I said nothing about Miss Havisham.

[10:06] Pip: wink wink 😉

[10:07] Mr. Jaggers: I am not winking.
[10:07] Mr. Jaggers: I have never winked in my life.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
🎩 LONDON LIFE - "GENTLEMAN PIP" 🎩
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

**Pip** created group "London Lads 🎩🍷"
**Pip** added **Herbert Pocket**

[20:00] Pip: herbert my dear friend
[20:00] Pip: shall we dine at the club tonight

[20:01] Herbert: pip we're £500 in debt

[20:01] Pip: yes but shall we dine EXPENSIVELY

[20:01] Herbert: absolutely. obviously. naturally.

[20:02] Pip: this is why we're best friends

[20:03] Herbert: pip can i ask you something
[20:03] Herbert: do you ever feel bad about Joe

[20:04] Pip: who

[20:04] Herbert: JOE
[20:04] Herbert: your brother-in-law
[20:04] Herbert: the man who raised you
[20:04] Herbert: the kindest person on earth

[20:05] Pip: oh THAT joe
[20:05] Pip: yeah no
[20:05] Pip: hes a bit embarrassing tbh
[20:05] Pip: he eats with the wrong fork herbert

[20:06] Herbert: pip you ate with the wrong fork until i taught you three months ago

[20:06] Pip: thats different

[20:06] Herbert: how

[20:06] Pip: because im a gentleman now
[20:06] Pip: with great expectations
[20:07] Pip: i simply cannot be associated with
[20:07] Pip: *checks notes*
[20:07] Pip: the one person who actually loved me unconditionally

[20:08] Herbert: do you hear yourself

[20:08] Pip: la la la cant hear you over the sound of my great expectations 🎩✨

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
⚡ THE BIG REVEAL - YEARS LATER ⚡
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[23:47] Unknown Number → Pip: pip
[23:47] Unknown Number: its me
[23:47] Unknown Number: from the marshes

[23:48] Pip: new phone who dis

[23:48] Unknown Number: THE CONVICT
[23:48] Unknown Number: THE GRAVEYARD
[23:48] Unknown Number: THE PORK PIE

[23:49] Pip: SCARY MARSH MAN???
[23:49] Pip: how are you even alive
[23:49] Pip: they sent you to AUSTRALIA

[23:49] Unknown Number: yeah i came back
[23:49] Unknown Number: for you pip
[23:50] Unknown Number: im your benefactor

[23:50] Pip: haha good one
[23:50] Pip: wait
[23:50] Pip: what

[23:50] Unknown Number: everything you have
[23:50] Unknown Number: the money
[23:50] Unknown Number: the london flat
[23:50] Unknown Number: the gentleman lifestyle
[23:51] Unknown Number: all from me
[23:51] Unknown Number: Abel Magwitch
[23:51] Unknown Number: ur convict from the marshes 🥰

[23:51] Pip: no
[23:51] Pip: No.
[23:51] Pip: NO.
[23:51] Pip: this cant be right
[23:52] Pip: it was miss havisham
[23:52] Pip: IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MISS HAVISHAM

[23:52] Unknown Number: who

[23:52] Pip: THE WOMAN WITH THE CAKE
[23:52] Pip: THE WEDDING DRESS
[23:52] Pip: THE PLAN TO MAKE ME WORTHY OF ESTELLA

[23:53] Unknown Number: i literally have no idea what ur talking about
[23:53] Unknown Number: i made money in australia
[23:53] Unknown Number: and i sent it all to you
[23:53] Unknown Number: because you were kind to me that christmas morning
[23:54] Unknown Number: you brought me food when i was starving
[23:54] Unknown Number: you were just a little kid
[23:54] Unknown Number: and you were kind

[23:54] Pip: i
[23:54] Pip: i cant breathe

[23:55] Unknown Number: i made you a gentleman pip 🥹
[23:55] Unknown Number: my gentleman

[23:55] Pip: oh god
[23:55] Pip: oh GOD
[23:55] Pip: everything ive believed for YEARS
[23:55] Pip: it was all wrong
[23:56] Pip: estella was never meant for me
[23:56] Pip: miss havisham didnt care about me at all
[23:56] Pip: and i
[23:56] Pip: i treated joe like garbage
[23:56] Pip: for NOTHING
[23:57] Pip: i was ashamed of the only person who was genuinely good
[23:57] Pip: because i thought being a gentleman meant being better than him
[23:57] Pip: but MY ENTIRE FORTUNE
[23:57] Pip: came from a CONVICT i helped as a CHILD

[23:58] Unknown Number: u alright mate

[23:58] Pip: NO ABEL IM NOT ALRIGHT
[23:58] Pip: im having an existential crisis at midnight
[23:58] Pip: my entire identity just collapsed
[23:59] Pip: wait
[23:59] Pip: if theyre looking for you
[23:59] Pip: and they find you in england
[23:59] Pip: they'll hang you

[23:59] Unknown Number: yeah probably
[23:59] Unknown Number: worth it to see you though 🥲

[00:00] Pip: 😭😭😭

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
💔 THE AFTERMATH 💔
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[00:15] Pip → Herbert: herbert
[00:15] Pip: HERBERT

[00:16] Herbert: pip its midnight

[00:16] Pip: my benefactor isnt miss havisham

[00:17] Herbert: wait what
[00:17] Herbert: then who

[00:17] Pip: the convict from the marshes
[00:17] Pip: from when i was 7
[00:17] Pip: hes HERE
[00:17] Pip: in my FLAT
[00:18] Pip: eating crackers on my sofa

[00:18] Herbert: WHAT

[00:18] Pip: herbert i am the worst person alive
[00:18] Pip: ive been a snob
[00:18] Pip: ive been cruel to joe
[00:19] Pip: ive been chasing estella who literally told me she cant love
[00:19] Pip: and the only people who ever actually cared about me
[00:19] Pip: were a blacksmith and a convict

[00:20] Herbert: ok this is a LOT
[00:20] Herbert: but first
[00:20] Herbert: is the convict dangerous

[00:20] Pip: hes eating crackers herbert
[00:20] Pip: and crying a little bit
[00:20] Pip: he keeps looking at me like im his son

[00:21] Herbert: pip this might be the most beautiful and tragic thing ive ever heard

[00:22] Pip: herbert what do i do

[00:22] Herbert: first we keep him safe
[00:22] Herbert: then you call joe
[00:22] Herbert: and apologize for being an absolute walnut

[00:23] Pip: an absolute walnut is generous
[00:23] Pip: i was a walnut wrapped in pretension and seasoned with ingratitude

[00:24] Herbert: thats oddly specific but accurate

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
📞 PIP → JOE - MUCH LATER 📞
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[08:00] Pip → Joe: Joe

[08:15] Joe: pip!!!!
[08:15] Joe: 😊😊😊
[08:15] Joe: havent heard from you in so long mate
[08:15] Joe: how are you
[08:16] Joe: hows london
[08:16] Joe: are you eating enough

[08:16] Pip: joe i dont deserve you

[08:17] Joe: what do you mean

[08:17] Pip: i was awful to you
[08:17] Pip: i was embarrassed by you
[08:17] Pip: and youre the best person ive ever known
[08:18] Pip: you raised me
[08:18] Pip: you protected me from mrs joe and the tickler
[08:18] Pip: you loved me when no one else did
[08:18] Pip: and i threw it all away because a girl said my boots were thick

[08:19] Joe: pip
[08:19] Joe: mate
[08:19] Joe: ever the best of friends pip
[08:19] Joe: thats what we are
[08:19] Joe: always was and always will be ❤️

[08:20] Pip: 😭😭😭😭😭
[08:20] Pip: i dont deserve this kindness joe

[08:20] Joe: thats the thing about kindness pip
[08:21] Joe: it aint about deserving
[08:21] Joe: its about love
[08:21] Joe: now come home and have some proper food
[08:21] Joe: you london types never eat enough

[08:22] Pip: im coming joe
[08:22] Pip: im coming home
[08:22] Pip: 🏠❤️

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

**Pip** renamed group to "my beautiful complicated life ❤️"

**Pip** changed bio to: "Great expectations? No. Great people. Joe, Herbert, and a convict named Abel who taught me what real generosity looks like. 🪦→🎩→❤️"

✅ *Pip is typing...*

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
📝 NARRATOR'S NOTE
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

*And so Philip Pirrip learned the lesson that Charles Dickens has been trying to teach us since 1861: that true worth has nothing to do with fine clothes, proper forks, or London addresses. It lives in the hands of a blacksmith who never stopped loving you, and in the heart of a convict who gave everything to repay a child's kindness. The greatest expectation of all? That we might finally see the people who love us — and love them back.*

*Read status: ✅✅ Seen by everyone who's ever been a snob and regretted it*