来自：Woe from Wit
ACT II
Scene 1
Famusov, Servant.
Famusov
Petrushka, always in your hand-me-downs,
With torn elbows. Fetch the calendar;
Don't read it like a parish clerk,
But with feeling, with sense, with proper pauses.
Wait now. — On the notepad, mark down,
For the week ahead:
To Praskovya Fyodorovna's house
On Tuesday I'm invited for trout.
How wondrously the world is made!
Philosophize a bit, your head will spin;
First you're careful, then there's dinner:
Eat for three hours, but it won't digest for three days!
Mark it down, on that same day... No, no.
On Thursday I'm invited to a funeral.
Oh, mankind! It's been forgotten,
That everyone must crawl into that very place,
Into that casket, where one can neither stand nor sit.
But whoever intends to leave behind a memory
By a praiseworthy life, here's an example:
The deceased was an honorable chamberlain,
With a key, and managed to secure a key for his son;
Rich, and married to a rich woman;
Married off his children, grandchildren;
Passed away; everyone remembers him with sorrow.
Kuzma Petrovich! Peace be with him! —
What aces live and die in Moscow! —
Write: on Thursday, one thing after another,
Or perhaps Friday, or perhaps Saturday,
I must attend a christening at the widow's, at the doctor's wife's.
She hasn't given birth yet, but by my calculation,
By my reckoning: she should give birth...
Scene 2
Famusov, Servant, Chatsky.
Famusov
Ah! Alexander Andreyich, please,
Do sit down.
Chatsky
Are you busy?
Famusov
(to servant)
Go.
(Servant exits.)
Yes, I enter various matters into my memory book,
Or I'll forget, you see. —
Chatsky
You've become somewhat cheerless;
Tell me, why? Is my arrival untimely?
Has some sorrow
Befallen Sofya Pavlovna?
There's anxiety in your face, in your movements.
Famusov
Ah! my dear fellow, you've found a riddle,
I'm not cheerful!.. At my age
I can hardly go leaping about!
Chatsky
No one's inviting you to;
I only asked two words
About Sofya Pavlovna: perhaps she's unwell?
Famusov
Tfu, Lord forgive! Five thousand times
You repeat the same thing!
First there's no one in the world prettier than Sofya Pavlovna,
Then Sofya Pavlovna is ill.
Tell me, do you fancy her?
You've roamed the world; don't you want to marry?
Chatsky
And what's it to you?
Famusov
It wouldn't hurt to ask me,
After all, I'm somewhat related to her;
At the very least, from time immemorial
They haven't called me father for nothing.
Chatsky
Suppose I were to propose, what would you say to me?
Famusov
I would say, first of all: don't be foolish,
Brother, don't manage your estate sloppily,
And, most importantly, go and serve.
Chatsky
I'd be glad to serve, but groveling is nauseating.
Famusov
There you are, all you proud ones!
Why don't you ask how the fathers did it?
You should learn by looking at your elders:
We, for example, or my late uncle,
Maxim Petrovich: he didn't just eat off silver,
But off gold; a hundred servants at his beck and call;
Covered in medals; always rode in a coach and six:
A lifetime at court, and what a court!
It wasn't like now,
He served under Empress Catherine.
And in those days everyone was important! weighed forty poods...
You'd bow — they wouldn't nod with their powdered wigs.
A dignitary in favor — all the more so;
Not like others, he drank and ate differently.
And uncle! What's your prince? What's a count?
Serious look, haughty manner.
But when he needed to curry favor,
He'd bend double:
At a court reception he happened to stumble;
He fell, so hard he nearly smashed his skull;
The old man groaned, his voice hoarse;
He was honored with the highest smile;
They deigned to laugh; and what did he do?
He got up, straightened himself, wanted to bow,
Fell a second time — now on purpose,
And the laughter grew louder, and a third time just the same.
Well? What do you think? In our opinion — he was clever.
He fell painfully, got up healthy.
So then, who was most often invited to whist?
Who heard a gracious word at court?
Maxim Petrovich! Who was honored before all?
Maxim Petrovich! Really!
Who promotes people to ranks and grants pensions?
Maxim Petrovich. Yes! You modern ones, — well then! —
Chatsky
And indeed, the world has begun to grow stupid,
You can say with a sigh;
If you compare and look at
The present age and the past age:
The tradition is fresh, but hard to believe;
How those were celebrated whose necks bent more often;
How they took with their foreheads, not in war, but in peace;
Knocked on the floor, sparing nothing!
Whoever needed it: arrogance lay in the dust for them,
And for those above, flattery was woven like lace.
It was a direct age of obedience and fear,
All under the mask of devotion to the tsar.
I'm not speaking of your uncle;
We won't disturb his ashes:
But meanwhile, who would be tempted,
Even in the most ardent servility,
Now, to make people laugh,
To boldly sacrifice their skull?
And his peer, and some old man,
Watching that leap,
Falling apart in his ancient skin,
Probably muttered: — Ah! if only I could do the same!
Though there are willing toadies everywhere,
But nowadays laughter frightens and shame holds in check;
No wonder sovereigns reward them sparingly. —
Famusov
Ah! Good Lord! He's a carbonari!
Chatsky
No, nowadays the world is different.
Famusov
A dangerous man!
Chatsky
Everyone breathes more freely
And doesn't rush to enlist in the regiment of fools.
Famusov
What he says! And he says it as he writes!
Chatsky
Yawning at the ceiling at patrons',
Appearing to keep silent, shuffle feet, dine,
Set up a chair, pick up a handkerchief.
Famusov
He wants to preach liberty!
Chatsky
Those who travel, who live in the country...
Famusov
He doesn't recognize authority!
Chatsky
Those who serve the cause, not persons...
Famusov
I would strictly forbid these gentlemen
To come within a shot of the capitals.
Chatsky
I'll finally give you rest...
Famusov
I have no patience, no strength, it's vexing.
Chatsky
I criticized your age mercilessly,
I give you full power:
Reject part of it,
At least add it to our times;
So be it, I won't complain.
Famusov
I don't want to know you, I don't tolerate debauchery.
Chatsky
I've finished.
Famusov
Fine, I've plugged my ears.
Chatsky
What for? I won't offend them.
Famusov
(rapidly)
There you go gallivanting about the world, idling,
You return, and expect order from them.
Chatsky
I've stopped...
Famusov
Please, spare me.
Chatsky
Prolonging arguments is not my desire.
Famusov
At least let my soul go to confession!
Scene 3
Servant
(enters)
Colonel Skalozub.
Famusov
(sees and hears nothing)
They'll lock you up.
Put you on trial, sure as anything.
Chatsky
Someone has called on you at home.
Famusov
I'm not listening, on trial!
Chatsky
A man with a report for you.
Famusov
I'm not listening, on trial! On trial!
Chatsky
But turn around, they're calling you.
Famusov
(turns around)
Ah? A riot? Well, I'm expecting bedlam.
Servant
Colonel Skalozub. Do you order me to receive him?
Famusov
(stands up)
Asses! How many times must I repeat?
Receive him, call him, invite him, say I'm home,
That I'm very glad. Now go, hurry.
(Servant exits.)
Please, sir, be careful around him:
A well-known man, solid,
And has snatched up a multitude of decorations;
Not for his years, and an enviable rank,
Today or tomorrow a general.
Please, behave modestly around him.
Eh! Alexander Andreyich, badly done, brother!
He visits me quite often;
I'm glad to see anyone, you know;
In Moscow they always triple everything:
As if he's marrying Sonyushka. Nonsense!
He might be glad in his soul,
But I myself don't see much need
To marry off my daughter tomorrow or today;
After all, Sofya is young. But otherwise, the Lord's will.
Please, don't argue perversely around him,
And drop these wild ideas.
But he's not here! What could be the reason...
Ah! I know, he's gone to my other half.
(Exits hastily.)
Scene 4
Chatsky
How he bustles! What agility!
And Sofya? — Is there really some suitor here?
Since when have they been avoiding me like a stranger!
How could she not be here!!..
Who is this Skalozub? The father raves about him strongly,
And perhaps, not just the father...
Ah! That would be the end of love,
For one who goes away for three years.
Scene 5
Chatsky, Famusov, Skalozub.
Famusov
Sergey Sergeyich, come here, sir.
Please, kindly, it's warmer here;
You're chilled, we'll warm you up;
We'll open the vent right away.
Skalozub
(in a deep bass)
Why should I climb, for example,
Myself!.. I'm ashamed, as an honest officer.
Famusov
Can I not take a single step for friends,
Dear Sergey Sergeyich!
Put down your hat, remove your sword;
Here's a sofa for you, stretch out at your ease.
Skalozub
Wherever you order, just to sit down.
(All three sit. Chatsky apart.)
Famusov
Ah! My dear fellow, speaking so as not to forget:
Allow us to count ourselves as relatives,
Even distant ones, not dividing inheritance;
You didn't know, and I even less so, —
Thanks, your second cousin taught me, —
How is Nastasya Nikolavna related to you?
Skalozub
I don't know, sir, my fault;
We didn't serve together.
Famusov
Sergey Sergeyich, is this you!
No! I crawl before relatives wherever I meet them;
I'll find her at the bottom of the sea.
Among those serving under me, strangers are very rare;
Mostly my sisters', sisters-in-law's children;
Only Molchalin isn't my relation,
And even then, because he's businesslike.
When you're presenting someone for a cross or a position,
Well, how can you not favor your own kin!..
However, your brother is my friend and told me
That you've received heaps of benefits through service.
Skalozub
In the year thirteen we distinguished ourselves with my brother
In the thirtieth light infantry, and later in the forty-fifth.
Famusov
Yes, fortunate is he who has such a son!
He has, I believe, an order in his buttonhole?
Skalozub
For the third of August; we dug in in the trench:
He was given one with a ribbon, I got one around my neck.
Famusov
A dear man, and to look at — a fine fellow,
A splendid man, your second cousin.
Skalozub
But he's picked up some sort of new rules.
Rank followed him: he suddenly left the service,
Began reading books in the country.
Famusov
That's youth for you!.. — reading!.. and then suddenly!..
You've conducted yourself properly:
Colonels for a long time, but you've served recently.
Skalozub
I'm quite fortunate in my comrades,
Vacancies open up just right:
Some older ones are struck off,
Others, you see, are killed.
Famusov
Yes, whom God seeks out, He elevates!
Skalozub
It happens, some are luckier than me.
In our fifteenth division, not far away,
About our brigade general at least.
Famusov
Forgive me, but what do you lack?
Skalozub
I'm not complaining, they haven't passed me over,
However, I led the regiment for two years.
Famusov
In pursuit of a regiment?
But then, of course, in other ways
They can't keep up with you.
Skalozub
No sir, older ones than me in the corps can be found,
I've been serving since eighteen-oh-nine;
Yes, to obtain ranks, there are many channels;
About them, as a true philosopher, I judge:
I only wish to become a general.
Famusov
And you judge splendidly, God grant you health
And a general's rank; and then
Why put off any longer
Starting talk about a general's wife?
Skalozub
Marry? I'm not at all opposed.
Famusov
Well? Who has a sister, a niece, a daughter;
In Moscow there's no shortage of brides;
What? They multiply year by year;
And, dear fellow, admit that hardly
Can a capital be found like Moscow.
Skalozub
Distances of enormous size.
Famusov
Taste, dear fellow, exceptional manners;
For everything there are their own laws:
Here, for example, with us from ancient times it's been the custom,
That honor passes from father to son;
Be ever so poor, but if one gathers
Two thousand souls by birthright, —
He's a bridegroom.
Another may be more agile, puffed up with all kinds of arrogance,
Let him be known as a man of reason,
But he won't be included in the family. Don't be surprised at us.
After all, only here do they still value nobility.
But is that the only thing? Take hospitality:
Whoever wants to visit us — please do;
The door is open to invited and uninvited,
Especially foreigners;
Whether an honest man or not,
It's all the same to us, dinner is ready for all.
Take from head to toe,
All Muscovites have a special stamp.
Be so kind as to look at our youth,
At the young men — sons and grandsons;
We scold them, but if you examine it,
At fifteen they teach their teachers!
And our old folks? — When fervor seizes them,
They'll judge about affairs, every word — a verdict, —
They're all pillars of society, they don't give a damn about anyone;
And about the government they sometimes talk such that,
If someone overheard them... trouble!
Not that they'd introduce novelties, — never,
God save us! No. But they'll find fault
With this, with that, and most often with nothing,
They'll argue, make noise, and... disperse.
True chancellors in retirement — by intellect!
I'll tell you, perhaps the time hasn't come,
But without them the business won't be done. —
And the ladies? — Let someone try to master them;
Judges of everything, everywhere, there are no judges over them;
When they rise in general revolt over cards,
God grant patience, — after all, I myself was married.
Order them to command before the front!
Send them to be present in the Senate!
Irina Vlasyevna! Lukerya Alekseyevna!
Tatyana Yuryevna! Pulkheriya Andrevna!
And whoever has seen their daughters, — everyone hangs his head...
His Majesty the King of Prussia was here;
He marveled improperly at Moscow young ladies,
At their good behavior, not their faces;
And truly, could one be better brought up!
They know how to adorn themselves
With taffeta, velvet and gauze,
Won't say a word simply, all with affectation;
They sing you French romances
And hit the high notes,
They cling to military men,
And why? Because they're patriots.
I'll say decisively: hardly
Can another capital be found like Moscow.
Skalozub
In my judgment,
The fire contributed much to her beautification.
Famusov
Don't remind us, how little they groan!
Since then the roads, sidewalks,
Houses and everything in a new style.
Chatsky
The houses are new, but the prejudices are old.
Rejoice, they won't be destroyed
By years, nor fashions, nor fires.
Famusov
(to Chatsky)
Hey, tie a knot in your memory;
I asked you to be quiet, it's no great favor.
(To Skalozub.)
Permit me, dear fellow. Here, sir — Chatsky, my friend,
The late Andrey Ilyich's son:
Doesn't serve, that is, he finds no benefit in it,
But if he wanted — he'd be a man of affairs.
Pity, great pity, he's a fellow with a head,
And writes splendidly, translates.
One can't help but regret that with such a mind...
Chatsky
Can't one regret someone else?
And your praises annoy me.
Famusov
Not I alone, everyone condemns likewise.
Chatsky
And who are the judges? — For the ancientness of years
Their enmity to free life is irreconcilable,
They draw judgments from forgotten newspapers
From the times of Ochakov and the conquest of Crimea;
Always ready for quarrels,
They all sing the same song,
Not noticing about themselves:
That the older, the worse.
Where? Show us, fathers of the fatherland,
Whom we should take as models?
Not these ones, rich from plunder?
Who found protection from court in friends, in relatives,
Having erected magnificent palaces,
Where they pour out in feasts and wastefulness,
And where foreign clients don't resurrect
The vilest features of past life.
And who in Moscow hasn't had their mouth shut
By dinners, suppers and dances?
Not the one to whom they carried me from infancy,
For some incomprehensible designs,
Took children to pay homage?
That Nestor of eminent scoundrels,
Surrounded by a crowd of servants;
Zealously, they more than once saved his honor and life
In hours of wine and brawls: suddenly
He traded them for three hunting dogs!!!
Or that other one, who for entertainment
Drove to his serf ballet on many carts
Children torn from mothers, fathers?!
Himself immersed in mind in Zephyrs and Cupids,
Made all Moscow marvel at their beauty!
But didn't agree with debtors on a delay:
Cupids and Zephyrs all
Sold off one by one!!!
There are those who've lived to gray hairs!
There's whom we should respect in this wasteland!
There are our strict appraisers and judges!
Now let one of us,
Of the young people, be found — an enemy of pursuits,
Not requiring positions or promotion in rank,
He'll fix his mind, thirsting for knowledge, on sciences;
Or in his soul God himself will kindle a fire
For creative arts, lofty and beautiful, —
They immediately: robbery! fire!
And he'll be known among them as a dreamer! dangerous!! —
The uniform! Just the uniform! In their former way of life
It once concealed, embroidered and handsome,
Their weakness of spirit, poverty of reason;
And we should follow them on the happy path!
And in wives, daughters — the same passion for uniforms!
Wasn't it long ago that I renounced it out of tenderness?!
Now I won't fall into that childishness;
But who wouldn't have been carried away then by everyone?
When from the guards, some from court
Came here for a time, —
The women cried: hurrah!
And threw their bonnets in the air!
Famusov
(to himself)
He'll drag me into trouble.
(Aloud.)
Sergey Sergeyich, I'll go
And will wait for you in my study.
(Exits.)
Scene 6
Skalozub, Chatsky.
Skalozub
I like how, in this estimate,
You artfully touched upon
Moscow's prejudice
Toward favorites, toward the guards, toward guardsmen, toward guard officers;
They marvel at their gold, embroidery, as if at suns!
But when did the First Army fall behind? In what?
Everything's so fitted, and all waists so narrow,
And we'll count you officers,
Who even speak, some of them, in French.
Scene 7
Skalozub, Chatsky, Sofya, Liza.
Sofya
(runs to the window)
Ah! Good Lord! He fell, he's killed! —
(Faints.)
Chatsky
Who?
Who is it?
Skalozub
Who had an accident?
Chatsky
She's dead from fright!
Skalozub
But who? From where?
Chatsky
What did he hit?
Skalozub
Could it be our old man made a blunder?
Liza
(fusses around the young lady)
Whoever it's destined for, sir, won't escape fate:
Molchalin was mounting a horse, foot in stirrup,
And the horse reared up,
He fell to the ground and straight on his crown.
Skalozub
He pulled the reins. Well, what a pitiful rider.
Let's see if he crashed — on his chest or on his side?
(Exits.)
Scene 8
The same without Skalozub.
Chatsky
How can I help her? Tell me quickly.
Liza
There's water in the room.
(Chatsky runs and brings it. Everything following — in an undertone, — until Sofya comes to.)
Fill a glass.
Chatsky
It's filled already.
Loosen her lacing,
Rub her temples with vinegar,
Sprinkle her with water. — Look:
Her breathing's become freer.
Fan her with something?
Liza
Here's a fan.
Chatsky
Look out the window:
Molchalin's been on his feet for a long time!
A trifle troubles her.
Liza
Yes sir, the young lady has an unfortunate temperament.
She can't watch from the side,
How people fall headlong.
Chatsky
Sprinkle her with more water.
Like that. More. More.
Sofya
(with a deep sigh)
Who's here with me?
I'm exactly as if in a dream.
(Hastily and loudly.)
Where is he? What's happened to him? Tell me.
Chatsky
Let him break his neck,
He nearly killed you.
Sofya
Murderous with your coldness!
To look at you, to listen to you, I have no strength.
Chatsky
You order me to be tormented for him?
Sofya
Run there, be there, try to help him.
Chatsky
To leave you without help alone?
Sofya
What are you to me?
Yes, it's true: others' misfortunes — for you amusement,
Let your own father be killed — it's all the same.
(To Liza.)
Let's go there, let's run.
Liza
(leads her aside)
Come to your senses! Where are you going?
He's alive, healthy, look here out the window.
(Sofya leans out the window.)
Chatsky
Confusion! Fainting! Haste! Anger! Fright!
One can only feel this way,
When one loses one's only friend.
Sofya
They're coming here. He can't raise his hand.
Chatsky
I'd like to be killed with him...
Liza
For company?
Sofya
No, remain with your wish.
Scene 9
Sofya, Liza, Chatsky, Skalozub, Molchalin (with his arm bandaged).
Skalozub
He's resurrected and unharmed, his arm
Is slightly bruised,
And, besides, it was all a false alarm.
Molchalin
I frightened you, forgive me for God's sake.
Skalozub
Well! I didn't know there would be
Irritation for you. You rushed in headlong. —
We shuddered! — You fainted,
And what? — all the fear was over nothing.
Sofya
(not looking at anyone)
Ah! I see very well, over nothing,
But I'm still trembling now.
Chatsky
(to himself)
Not a word to Molchalin!
Sofya
However, I'll say about myself,
That I'm not cowardly. It happens like this,
A carriage overturns, — they lift it: I'm again
Ready to ride anew;
But every little thing in others frightens me,
Though there's no great misfortune from it,
Even if a stranger to me, — that doesn't matter.
Chatsky
(to himself)
She's asking his forgiveness,
That she once pitied someone!
Skalozub
Allow me, I'll tell you some news:
There's some Princess Lasova here,
A horsewoman, a widow, but there are no examples
Of many cavaliers riding with her.
The other day she was smashed to pieces, —
The jockey didn't support her, he was counting flies, evidently. —
And even without that she's clumsy, as I hear,
Now she's missing a rib,
So she's looking for a husband for support.
Sofya
Ah, Alexander Andreyich, there —
Show yourself fully magnanimous:
You're so compassionate to others' misfortune.
Chatsky
Yes sir, I just demonstrated this,
By my most zealous efforts,
And sprinkling, and rubbing,
I don't know for whom, but I resurrected you.
(Takes his hat and exits.)
Scene 10
The same, except Chatsky.
Sofya
Will you be with us this evening?
Skalozub
How early?
Sofya
Rather early, home friends will gather,
To dance to the fortepiano, —
We're in mourning, so we can't give a ball.
Skalozub
I'll appear, but I promised to stop by father's,
I'll take my leave.
Sofya
Farewell.
Skalozub
(shakes Molchalin's hand)
Your servant.
(Exits.)
Scene 11
Sofya, Liza, Molchalin.
Sofya
Molchalin! How my reason remained intact in me!
After all, you know how dear your life is to me!
Why play with it, and so carelessly?
Tell me, what's wrong with your arm?
Shall I give you some drops? Don't you need rest?
Shall we send for the doctor, you mustn't neglect it.
Molchalin
I bandaged it with a handkerchief, it hasn't hurt since then.
Liza
I'll bet it's nonsense;
And if it weren't becoming, the bandage wouldn't be needed;
But what's not nonsense is that you won't escape publicity:
Chatsky, just you wait, will raise you to ridicule;
And Skalozub, when he twists his forelock,
Will tell about the fainting, add a hundred embellishments;
He's great at joking too, after all, who doesn't joke nowadays!
Sofya
And which of them do I value?
I want — I love, I want — I'll say so.
Molchalin! As if I didn't force myself?
You came in, I didn't say a word,
In their presence I didn't dare breathe,
To ask you, to look at you. —
Molchalin
No, Sofya Pavlovna, you're too frank.
Sofya
Where can I draw secretiveness from!
I was ready to jump out the window to you.
But what do I care about anyone? About them? About the whole universe?
Funny? — Let them joke; vexing? — Let them scold.
Molchalin
This frankness might harm us.
Sofya
Will they really want to challenge you to a duel?
Molchalin
Ah! Evil tongues are worse than a pistol.
Liza
They're sitting with father now,
If only you'd flutter through the door
With a cheerful face, carefree:
When they tell us what we want —
How readily we believe!
And Alexander Andreyich, — with him
About old days, about those pranks
Unfold in stories,
A little smile and a couple of words,
And whoever's in love — is ready for anything.
Molchalin
I don't dare advise you.
(Kisses her hand.)
Sofya
Do you want?.. I'll go be gracious through tears;
I'm afraid I won't manage to keep up the pretense.
Why did God bring Chatsky here!
(Exits.)
Scene 12
Molchalin, Liza.
Molchalin
You're a cheerful creature! Lively!
Liza
Please let me go, there are two of you without me.
Molchalin
What a little face you have!
How I love you!
Liza
And the young lady?
Molchalin
Her
By duty, you...
(Tries to embrace her.)
Liza
Out of boredom.
Please keep your hands away!
Molchalin
I have three little things:
There's a toiletry set, most cunning workmanship —
A mirror outside, and a mirror inside,
All around openwork, gilding;
A little pillow with a beaded pattern;
And a mother-of-pearl set —
A needle case and scissors, how lovely!
Little pearls, ground into face powder!
There's pomade for lips, and for other reasons,
Little bottles with perfumes: mignonette and jasmine. —
Liza
You know I'm not tempted by gifts;
Tell me better, why
Are you modest with the young lady, but a rogue with the maid?
Molchalin
Today I'm ill, I won't take off the bandage;
Come at dinner time, stay with me;
I'll reveal the whole truth to you.
(Exits through a side door.)
Scene 13
Sofya, Liza.
Sofya
I was at father's, there's no one there.
Today I'm ill, and I won't go to dinner,
Tell Molchalin, and call him,
So he'll come to visit me.
(Exits to her room.)
Scene 14
Liza
Well! The people in this place!
She to him, and he to me,
And I... I alone am mortally afraid of love. —
But how can I not love the butler Petrusha!
End of Act II