From: Woe from Wit
ACT III
Scene 1
Chatsky, then Sophia.
Chatsky
I'll wait for her and force a confession:
Who, in the end, does she love? Molchalin! Skalozub!
Molchalin used to be so stupid!..
A most pitiful creature!
Has he grown wiser?.. And that one—
A wheezer, a strangled man, a bassoon,
A constellation of maneuvers and mazurkas!
The fate of love is to play blind man's bluff with it,
And as for me…
(Sofia enters.)
You're here? I'm very glad,
I wanted this.
Sophia
(to herself)
And very inopportune.
Chatsky
Of course, you weren't looking for me?
Sophia
I was not looking for you.
Chatsky
May I not find out,
Though it's untimely, no matter:
Whom do you love?
Sophia
Oh! good lord! All the world.
Chatsky
Who is dearer to you?
Sophia
There are many, relatives.
Chatsky
All more than me?
Sophia
Others.
Chatsky
And what do I want, when everything's decided?
I'm putting my head in a noose, and she finds it funny.
Sophia
Would you like to know two words of truth?
The slightest strangeness visible in someone,
Your gaiety is immodest,
You immediately have a witticism ready,
And you yourself…
Chatsky
Myself? Aren't I ridiculous, truly?
Sophia
Yes! A menacing look, and a sharp tone,
And you have an abyss of these peculiarities;
But a storm over oneself is not at all useless.
Chatsky
I'm strange, but who isn't strange?
He who resembles all the fools;
Molchalin, for example…
Sophia
Your examples are not new to me;
It's noticeable that you're ready to pour bile on everyone;
And I, so as not to interfere, will remove myself from here.
Chatsky
(holds her)
Wait, please.
(Aside.)
For once in my life I'll pretend.
(Aloud.)
Let us leave these arguments,
I'm wrong about Molchalin, I'm guilty;
Perhaps he's not the same as three years ago:
There are such transformations on earth
Of governments, climates, morals, and minds;
There are important people who were considered fools:
One in the army, another a bad poet,
Another… I'm afraid to name, but recognized by all the world,
Especially in recent years,
That they've become smart as anything.
Let there be in Molchalin a lively mind, a bold genius,
But is there in him that passion? That feeling? That ardor?
So that, besides you, the whole world
Seemed to him dust and vanity?
So that every heartbeat
Was quickened by love for you?
So that all his thoughts and all his deeds
Had as their soul—you, pleasing you?..
I feel this myself, I cannot express it,
But what now boils in me, agitates, enrages,
I wouldn't wish even on a personal enemy,
And he?.. will keep silent and hang his head.
Of course, he's humble, all such people are not lively;
God knows what secret is hidden in him;
God knows what you've invented for him,
What his head was never filled with.
Perhaps a multitude of your qualities,
Admiring him, you've attributed to him;
He's not guilty of anything, you're a hundred times guiltier.
No! No! Let him be clever, cleverer by the hour,
But is he worthy of you? That's one question for you.
So that I may bear the loss more indifferently,
As a person to you who grew up with you,
As your friend, as a brother,
Let me be convinced of this;
Then
I can guard myself from madness;
I'll rush far away—to cool off, to grow cold,
Not to think of love, but I will be able
To wander the world, forget myself and be distracted.
Sophia
(to herself)
I've unwillingly driven him mad!
(Aloud.)
Why pretend?
Molchalin just now could have been left without an arm,
I took a lively interest in him;
And you, happening upon this moment,
Didn't bother to consider
That one can be kind to everyone without discrimination;
But perhaps there's truth in your conjectures,
And I take him hotly under my protection;
Why then, I'll tell you straight,
Be so unrestrained in tongue?
So unconcealed in contempt for people?
That even the meekest gets no mercy!.. Why?
Let someone happen to mention him:
A hail of your barbs and jokes will thunder.
To jest! And always jest! How can you stand it!—
Chatsky
Ah! Good lord! Am I really one of those
Whose whole life's purpose is laughter?
I'm merry when I meet the ridiculous,
But more often I'm bored with them.
Sophia
In vain: this all applies to others,
Molchalin would hardly bore you,
If you became better acquainted with him.
Chatsky
(ardently)
Why then did you get to know him so well?
Sophia
I didn't try, God brought us together.
Look, he's won everyone's friendship in the house:
He's served father for three years,
He's often angry without reason,
But he disarms him with silence,
Forgives out of the goodness of his heart.
And, among other things,
He could seek amusements;
Not at all: he won't step beyond the threshold from the old folks;
We frolic, we laugh,
He'll sit with them all day, glad or not,
Plays…
Chatsky
Plays all day!
Keeps silent when he's scolded!
(Aside.)
She doesn't respect him.
Sophia
Of course, he doesn't have that kind of wit
That's genius for some, but plague for others,
That's quick, brilliant, and quickly becomes repulsive,
That abuses the world wholesale,
So the world will say at least something about him;
But would such wit make a family happy?
Chatsky
Satire and morality—is that the meaning of all this?
(Aside.)
She doesn't value him at all.
Sophia
He's of the most wonderful character
Finally: yielding, modest, quiet,
Not a shadow of anxiety in his face
And no transgressions on his soul,
He doesn't slander others, neither this way nor that,—
That's why I love him.
Chatsky
(aside)
She's fooling around, she doesn't love him.
(Aloud.)
I'll help you complete
Molchalin's portrait.
But Skalozub? Now there's a sight:
He stands mountain-strong for the army,
And with the straightness of his stature,
In face and voice a hero…
Sophia
Not my romance.
Chatsky
Not yours? Who can figure you out?
Scene 2
Chatsky, Sophia, Liza.
Liza
(whispers)
Madam, follow me, presently
Alexei Stepanych will come to you.
Sophia
Forgive me, I must go quickly.
Chatsky
Where?
Sophia
To the hairdresser.
Chatsky
Let him be.
Sophia
He'll let the tongs cool.
Chatsky
Let them…
Sophia
I can't, we're expecting guests this evening.
Chatsky
God be with you, I remain again with my riddle.
However, let me come, even if stealthily,
To your room for a few minutes;
There the walls, the air—everything is pleasant!
They'll warm me, revive me, let me rest
With memories of what's irrevocable!
I won't stay long, I'll enter, just two minutes,
Then, think, a member of the English Club,
I'll sacrifice whole days there to gossip
About Molchalin's wit, about Skalozub's soul.
(Sophia shrugs her shoulders, goes to her room and locks herself in, Liza follows her.)
Scene 3
Chatsky, then Molchalin.
Chatsky
Ah! Sophia! Can it be that Molchalin is chosen by her!
And why not a husband? He just lacks wit;
But to have children,
Who ever had enough wit?
Obliging, modest, with a blush in his face.
(Molchalin enters.)
There he is on tiptoe, and not rich in words;
By what sorcery did he manage to creep into her heart!
(Turns to him.)
We, Alexei Stepanych, with you
Didn't manage to say two words.
Well, what's your way of life?
Without grief now? Without sorrow?
Molchalin
As before, sir.
Chatsky
And how did you live before?
Molchalin
Day after day, today like yesterday.
Chatsky
From pen to cards? And from cards to pen?
And set hours for tides and ebbs?
Molchalin
According to my labors and strength,
Since I've been registered in the Archives,
I've received three awards.
Chatsky
Have honors and rank enticed you?
Molchalin
No sir, everyone has their talent…
Chatsky
Yours?
Molchalin
Two, sir:
Moderation and punctuality.
Chatsky
Two most wonderful ones! And worth all of ours.
Molchalin
You weren't given rank, unsuccessful in service?
Chatsky
Ranks are given by people,
And people can be mistaken.
Molchalin
How we were surprised!
Chatsky
What wonder in that?
Molchalin
We pitied you.
Chatsky
Wasted effort.
Molchalin
Tatyana Yuryevna told something,
Returning from Petersburg,
About your connection with ministers,
Then the break…
Chatsky
Why should she care?
Molchalin
Tatyana Yuryevna!
Chatsky
I'm not acquainted with her.
Molchalin
With Tatyana Yuryevna!!
Chatsky
We've never met in our lives;
I've heard she's absurd.
Molchalin
But is this really the one, sir?
Tatyana Yuryevna!!! The famous one,—moreover
Officials and functionaries—
All are her friends and all relatives;
You should visit Tatyana Yuryevna at least once.
Chatsky
What for?
Molchalin
Just so: we often find
Patronage there where we don't aim for it.
Chatsky
I visit women, but not for that.
Molchalin
How affable! Kind! Sweet! Simple!
She gives balls—couldn't be richer.
From Christmas to Lent,
And summer parties at the dacha.
Well, really, why wouldn't you serve with us in Moscow?
And receive awards and live merrily?
Chatsky
When in business—I hide from amusements,
When fooling around—I fool around;
But to mix these two trades
There are hordes of masters, I'm not among them.
Molchalin
Forgive me, however I don't see a crime here;
Now Foma Fomich himself, do you know him?
Chatsky
Well, what of it?
Molchalin
He was head of a department under three ministers,
Transferred here.
Chatsky
Fine!
An emptiest person, of the most senseless.
Molchalin
How can you! His style is held up here as a model,
Have you read it?
Chatsky
I'm not a reader of stupidities,
And especially model ones.
Molchalin
No, I had the pleasure to read,
I'm not a writer myself…
Chatsky
And it's noticeable in everything.
Molchalin
I dare not pronounce my judgment.
Chatsky
Why so secretly?
Molchalin
In my years one shouldn't dare
To have one's own judgment.
Chatsky
Have mercy, we're not children,
Why should only others' opinions be sacred?
Molchalin
Well, one must depend on others.
Chatsky
Why must one?
Molchalin
In rank we're small.
Chatsky
(almost loudly)
With such feelings! With such a soul
Beloved!.. The deceiver laughed at me!
Scene 4
Evening. All doors wide open, except to Sophia's bedroom. In perspective a row of lighted rooms opens up. Servants bustle about; one of them, the chief one, says:
Hey! Filka, Fomka, now, be nimbler!
Tables for cards, chalk, brushes and candles!
(Knocks at Sophia's door.)
Tell the young mistress quickly, Lizaveta:
Natalya Dmitrievna, with her husband, and another
Carriage has driven up to the porch.
(They disperse, Chatsky remains alone.)
Scene 5
Chatsky, Natalya Dmitrievna (a young lady).
Natalya Dmitrievna
Am I not mistaken!.. It's really him, by his face…
Ah! Alexander Andreich, is it you?
Chatsky
You look with doubt from head to toe,
Have three years really changed me so?
Natalya Dmitrievna
I thought you far from Moscow.
How long ago?
Chatsky
Only today…
Natalya Dmitrievna
For long?
Chatsky
As it happens.
However, who, looking at you, wouldn't marvel?
Fuller than before, you've grown prettier—terribly;
You're younger, fresher:
Fire, blush, laughter, play in every feature.
Natalya Dmitrievna
I'm married.
Chatsky
You should have said so long ago!
Natalya Dmitrievna
My husband—a delightful husband, he'll enter presently.
I'll introduce you, would you like?
Chatsky
Please.
Natalya Dmitrievna
And I know in advance
That you'll like him. Look and judge!
Chatsky
I believe it, he's your husband.
Natalya Dmitrievna
Oh no sir, not for that reason;
In himself, by character, by mind.
My Platon Mikhailych is unique, priceless!
Now retired, was military;
And everyone who knew him before affirms
That with his bravery, with his talent,
If he had continued in service,
He certainly would have been Moscow commandant.
Scene 6
Chatsky, Natalya Dmitrievna, Platon Mikhailovich.
Natalya Dmitrievna
Here's my Platon Mikhailych.
Chatsky
Ha!
Old friend, we've known each other long, what fate!
Platon Mikhailovich
Hello, Chatsky, brother!
Chatsky
Dear Platon, splendidly.
A certificate of merit to you: you conduct yourself properly.
Platon Mikhailovich
As you see, brother:
A Moscow dweller and married.
Chatsky
Forgotten the camp's noise, comrades and brothers?
Calm and lazy?
Platon Mikhailovich
No, there are still occupations:
On the flute I rehearse a duet
In A-minor…
Chatsky
Which you rehearsed five years ago?
Well, constant taste in husbands is most precious!
Platon Mikhailovich
Brother, when you marry, then remember me!
From boredom you'll whistle one and the same.
Chatsky
From boredom! How? Are you already paying tribute to it?
Natalya Dmitrievna
My Platon Mikhailych is inclined to various occupations,
Which don't exist now—drills and reviews,
The manège… sometimes he's bored in the mornings.
Chatsky
And who, dear friend, orders you to be idle?
Into a regiment, they'll give you a squadron. Are you ober or staff?
Natalya Dmitrievna
My Platon Mikhailych is very weak in health.
Chatsky
Weak in health! Since when?
Natalya Dmitrievna
All rheumatism and headaches.
Chatsky
More movement. To the country, to a warm region.
Be more often on horseback. The country in summer is paradise.
Natalya Dmitrievna
Platon Mikhailych loves the city,
Moscow; why would he ruin his days in the wilderness!
Chatsky
Moscow and the city… You're an eccentric!
And do you remember before?
Platon Mikhailovich
Yes, brother, now it's not the same…
Natalya Dmitrievna
Oh! My dear friend!
It's so fresh here, it's unbearable,
You've opened up completely, and unbuttoned your vest.
Platon Mikhailovich
Now, brother, I'm not the same…
Natalya Dmitrievna
Listen just once,
My dear, button up quickly.
Platon Mikhailovich
(coolly)
Right away.
Natalya Dmitrievna
But move farther from the doors,
There's a draft blowing from behind!
Platon Mikhailovich
Now, brother, I'm not the same…
Natalya Dmitrievna
My angel, for God's sake
Move farther from the door.
Platon Mikhailovich
(eyes to heaven)
Ah! Mother!
Chatsky
Well, God judge you;
You've certainly become different in a short time;
Wasn't it last year, at the end,
I knew you in the regiment? Just morning: foot in stirrup
And you'd race on a spirited steed;
Let the autumn wind blow, whether from front or back.
Platon Mikhailovich
(with a sigh)
Eh! Brother! That was splendid living then.
Scene 7
The same, Prince Tugoukhovsky and the Princess with six daughters.
Natalya Dmitrievna
(in a thin voice)
Prince Pyotr Ilyich, princess, good lord!
Princess Zizi! Mimi!
(Loud kisses, then they sit down and examine each other from head to toe.)
1st Princess
What a beautiful style!
2nd Princess
What little folds!
1st Princess
Trimmed with fringe.
Natalya Dmitrievna
No, if you'd seen my satin turluru!
3rd Princess
What a scarf cousin gave me!
4th Princess
Ah! Yes, barège!
5th Princess
Ah! Lovely!
6th Princess
Ah! How sweet!
Princess
Shh!—Who's that in the corner, we entered, he bowed?
Natalya Dmitrievna
A visitor, Chatsky.
Princess
Re-tired?
Natalya Dmitrievna
Yes, he traveled, recently returned.
Princess
And a bach-e-lor?
Natalya Dmitrievna
Yes, not married.
Princess
Prince, prince, here.—Quicker.
Prince
(turns his ear trumpet toward her)
O-hm!
Princess
To our evening, on Thursday, invite quickly
Natalya Dmitrievna's acquaintance: there he is!
Prince
I-hm!
(Sets off, circles around Chatsky and coughs)
Princess
There you have it, children:
They get a ball, and father must drag himself to bow;
Dancers have become terribly rare!..
Is he a chamber-junker?
Natalya Dmitrievna
No.
Princess
Rich?
Natalya Dmitrievna
Oh! No!
Princess
(loudly, with all her might)
Prince, prince! Back!
Scene 8
The same and the Countesses Khryumin: grandmother and granddaughter.
Countess-granddaughter
Ah! Grand'maman! Well, who arrives so early!
We're first!
(Disappears into a side room.)
Princess
There she honors us!
There's first for you, and she considers us nobody!
Wicked, a spinster her whole life, may God forgive her.
Countess-granddaughter
(returned, directs a double lorgnette at Chatsky)
Monsieur Chatsky! You're in Moscow! Are you still the same?
Chatsky
Why should I change?
Countess-granddaughter
Have you returned a bachelor?
Chatsky
On whom should I marry?
Countess-granddaughter
In foreign lands on whom?
Oh! There are hordes of ours without further inquiry
They marry there, and present us with kinship
With craftswomen of fashionable shops.
Chatsky
Unfortunates! Should they bear reproaches
From imitators of milliners?
For daring to prefer
Originals to copies?
Scene 9
The same and many other guests. Among others, Zagoretsky. Men appear, shuffle, step aside, wander from room to room, etc. Sophia emerges from her room, everyone toward her.
Countess-granddaughter
Eh! Bon soir! Vous voilà! Jamais trop diligente,
Vous nous donnez toujours le plaisir de l'attente.
Zagoretsky
(To Sophia)
Do you have a ticket for tomorrow's performance?
Sophia
No.
Zagoretsky
Allow me to present you one, in vain would anyone else
Undertake to serve you, but
Wherever I rushed!
At the box office—everything's taken,
To the director—he's my friend,—
At dawn at six o'clock, and is it timely!
Already from evening no one could get one;
To this one, to that one, I knocked everyone off their feet;
And this one finally I seized by force
From one, he's a feeble old man,
My friend, a well-known homebody;
Let him sit at home in peace.
Sophia
I thank you for the ticket,
And doubly for the effort.
(Some others appear, meanwhile Zagoretsky steps away to the men.)
Zagoretsky
Platon Mikhailych…
Platon Mikhailovich
Away!
Go to the women, lie to them and fool them;
I'll tell such truths about you,
Worse than any lie. Here, brother,
(To Chatsky)
I recommend!
What do they call such people more politely?
More gently?—He's a society man,
An avowed scoundrel, a cheat:
Anton Antonych Zagoretsky.
Beware around him: he's quick to gossip,
And don't sit down to cards: he'll cheat.
Zagoretsky
An original! Gruff, but without the slightest malice.
Chatsky
And it would be ridiculous for you to be offended;
Besides honesty, there are many consolations:
They abuse you here, but thank you there.
Platon Mikhailovich
Oh, no, brother, with us they abuse you
Everywhere, but receive you everywhere.
(Zagoretsky mingles with the crowd.)
Scene 10
The same and Khlestova.
Khlestova
Is it easy at sixty-five years
To drag myself to you, niece?..—Torture!
A whole hour I rode from Pokrovka, no strength left;
Night—the apocalypse!
From boredom I took with me
An Arab girl and a little dog;
Have them fed, now, my dear;
Send a snack from supper.—
Princess, how do you do!
(Sat down.)
Well, Sofyushka, my friend,
What an Arab girl I have for service:
Curly-haired! Shoulder blades like a hump!
Angry! All catlike manners!
But how black! But how frightening!
Well, the Lord created such a tribe!
A real devil; she's in the maids' room;
Shall I call her?
Sophia
No ma'am, another time.
Khlestova
Imagine: they display them like animals…
I heard, there… there's a Turkish city…
And do you know who procured her for me?
Anton Antonych Zagoretsky.
(Zagoretsky steps forward.)
He's a little liar, a cardsharp, a thief.
(Zagoretsky disappears.)
I even put my doors on the latch against him;
But he's a master at serving: for me and my sister Praskovya
He got two little Arabs at the fair;
He bought them, he says, probably cheated at cards;
And a gift for me, God give him health!
Chatsky
(with laughter to Platon Mikhailovich)
He won't feel well from such praises,
Even Zagoretsky himself couldn't stand it, disappeared.
Khlestova
Who's this merrymaker? From what rank?
Sophia
That one? Chatsky.
Khlestova
Well? And what did he find funny?
What's he glad about? What laughter is there?
It's a sin to laugh at old age.
I remember, you often danced with him as a child,
I pulled his ears, only not enough.
Scene 11
The same and Famusov.
Famusov
(thunderously)
We're waiting for Prince Pyotr Ilyich,
And the prince is already here! And I got stuck there, in the portrait room.
Where's Skalozub Sergei Sergeich? Eh?
No, it seems he's not here.—He's a notable man—
Sergei Sergeich Skalozub.
Khlestova
My Creator! He's deafened me, louder than any trumpets.
Scene 12
The same and Skalozub, then Molchalin.
Famusov
Sergei Sergeich, you're late;
And we waited, waited, waited for you.
(Leads him to Khlestova.)
My little bride, about whom for a long time
I've been telling you.
Khlestova
(sitting)
You were here before… in the regiment… in that…
In the grenadier?
Skalozub
(in bass)
In his highness's, you want to say,
New-Zealand musketeer.
Khlestova
I'm no master at distinguishing regiments.
Skalozub
And there are regulation distinctions:
In uniforms piping, shoulder straps, buttonholes.
Famusov
Come, father, there I'll amuse you;
We have a curious whist. Follow us, prince! I ask.
(Leads him and the prince away.)
Khlestova
(To Sophia)
Ugh! I've escaped exactly from the noose;
Your father's half-mad:
He's taken with this seven-foot giant,—
Introduces him without asking whether it's pleasant for us or not!
Molchalin
(hands her a card)
I've made up your party: Monsieur Coque,
Foma Fomich and I.
Khlestova
Thank you, my dear.
(Gets up.)
Molchalin
Your spitz—a lovely spitz, no bigger than a thimble;
I stroked him all over: his fur is like silk!
Khlestova
Thank you, my dear.
(Leaves, Molchalin and many others follow.)
Scene 13
Chatsky, Sophia and several others, who gradually disperse.
Chatsky
Well! I dispersed the cloud…
Sophia
Can't you stop?
Chatsky
How have I frightened you?
For the fact that he mollified the angered guest,
I wanted to praise him.
Sophia
But you would have ended with spite.
Chatsky
Shall I tell you what I thought? Here it is:
Old ladies are all—an angry folk;
It's not bad that with them a famous servant
Should be here, like a lightning rod.
Molchalin!—Who else would settle everything so peacefully!
Here he pats the lapdog in time,
There he slips in a card at the right moment,
Zagoretsky won't die in him!
You enumerated his qualities to me earlier,
But you forgot many?—Yes?
(Leaves.)
Scene 14
Sophia, then Mr. N.
Sophia
(to herself)
Ah! This person is always
The cause of terrible distress to me!
He's glad to humiliate, to prick; envious, proud and wicked!
Mr. N.
(approaches)
You're in thought.
Sophia
About Chatsky.
Mr. N.
How did you find him, upon his return?
Sophia
He's not in his right mind.
Mr. N.
Has he really gone mad?
Sophia
(after a pause)
Not exactly completely…
Mr. N.
But there are signs?
Sophia
(looks at him intently)
It seems so to me.
Mr. N.
How can it be, at such years!
Sophia
What can be done!
(Aside.)
He's ready to believe!
Ah, Chatsky, you love to make fools of everyone,
Would you like to try it on yourself?
(Leaves.)
Scene 15
Mr. N., then Mr. D.
Mr. N.
Gone mad!.. It seems so to her, imagine!
Not without reason? So it means… why would she think so!
Did you hear?
Mr. D.
What?
Mr. N.
About Chatsky?
Mr. D.
What about him?
Mr. N.
He's gone mad!
Mr. D.
Nonsense.
Mr. N.
I didn't say it, others are saying it.
Mr. D.
And you're glad to spread it?
Mr. N.
I'll go inquire; probably someone knows.
(Leaves.)
Scene 16
Mr. D., then Zagoretsky.
Mr. D.
Believe a gossip!
He hears nonsense, and immediately repeats it!
Do you know about Chatsky?
Zagoretsky
Well?
Mr. D.
He's gone mad!
Zagoretsky
Ah, I know, I remember, I heard.
How could I not know? An exemplary case occurred;
His cunning uncle locked him up in the madhouse…
They seized him in the yellow house and put him on a chain.
Mr. D.
Have mercy, he was just here in the room, right here.
Zagoretsky
So they let him off the chain, then.
Mr. D.
Well, dear friend, with you there's no need for newspapers,
I'll go spread my wings,
I'll ask everyone; however, shh! It's a secret.
Scene 17
Zagoretsky, then the Countess-granddaughter.
Zagoretsky
Which Chatsky is it?—A well-known family.
I was once acquainted with some Chatsky.
Have you heard about him?
Countess-granddaughter
About whom?
Zagoretsky
About Chatsky, he was just here in the room.
Countess-granddaughter
I know.
I spoke with him.
Zagoretsky
So I congratulate you:
He's insane…
Countess-granddaughter
What?
Zagoretsky
Yes, he's gone mad!
Countess-granddaughter
Imagine, I noticed it myself;
And I'd even bet, you and I are of one word.
Scene 18
The same and the Countess-grandmother.
Countess-granddaughter
Ah! Grand'maman, what wonders! What news!
Haven't you heard of the local troubles?
Listen. What delights! How lovely!..
Countess-grandmother
My fr-iend, my ears are stuffed;
Speak more quietly…
Countess-granddaughter
There's no time!
Il vous dira toute l'histoire…
I'll go ask…
(Leaves.)
Scene 19
Zagoretsky, Countess-grandmother.
Countess-grandmother
What? What? Isn't there a fire here?
Zagoretsky
No, Chatsky created all this commotion.
Countess-grandmother
What, Chatsky? Who sent him to prison?
Zagoretsky
Wounded in the forehead in the mountains, went mad from the wound.
Countess-grandmother
What? To the freemasons' club? He's gone to the infidels!
Zagoretsky
You can't make her understand.
(Leaves.)
Countess-grandmother
Anton Antonych! Ah!
And he's rushing, all in fear, in a flurry.
Scene 20
Countess-grandmother and Prince Tugoukhovsky.
Countess-grandmother
Prince, prince! Oh, this prince, through the chambers, himself barely breathes!
Prince, have you heard?—
Prince
E-hm?
Countess-grandmother
He hears nothing!
Perhaps, have you seen, was the police chief here?
Prince
E-hm?
Countess-grandmother
To prison, prince, who seized Chatsky?
Prince
I-hm?
Countess-grandmother
A sword and a knapsack for him,
Into soldiers! Is it a joke! He changed the law!
Prince
U-hm?
Countess-grandmother
Yes!.. He's among the infidels!
Ah! Cursed Voltairean!
What? Eh? He's deaf, my father; get your horn.
Oh! Deafness is a great defect.
Scene 21
All the same and Khlestova, Sophia, Molchalin, Platon Mikhailovich, Natalya Dmitrievna, the Countess-granddaughter, the Princess with daughters, Zagoretsky, Skalozub, then Famusov and many others.
Khlestova
Gone mad! I beg your pardon!
But so suddenly! But how quickly!
Did you hear, Sophia?
Platon Mikhailovich
Who spread it first?
Natalya Dmitrievna
Ah, my friend, everyone!
Platon Mikhailovich
Well, if everyone, then one must believe perforce,
But I have doubts.
Famusov
(entering)
About what? About Chatsky, is it?
What's doubtful? I was first, I discovered it!
I've long wondered why no one ties him up!
Try about the authorities—and no telling what he'll say!
Just bow low, bend into a ring,
Even before the monarch's face,
So he'll call him a scoundrel!..
Khlestova
Same here from the mockers;
I said something—he started laughing.
Molchalin
He advised me against serving in Moscow in the Archives.
Countess-granddaughter
He deigned to call me a milliner!
Natalya Dmitrievna
And gave my husband advice to live in the country.
Zagoretsky
Insane in everything.
Countess-granddaughter
I saw it with my own eyes.
Famusov
He takes after his mother, after Anna Alexevna;
The deceased went mad eight times.
Khlestova
Wondrous things happen in the world!
At his age jumped off into madness!
Probably drank beyond his years.
Princess
Oh! Certainly…
Countess-granddaughter
Without doubt.
Khlestova
Champagne he drank by the glass.
Natalya Dmitrievna
By bottles, sir, and very large ones.
Zagoretsky
(ardently)
No sir, by forty-bucket barrels.
Famusov
Well there! Great misfortune,
If a man drinks too much!
Learning—that's the plague, scholarship—that's the reason
That now, more than ever,
Insane people have multiplied, and deeds, and opinions.
Khlestova
And truly you'll go mad from these, from these alone
From boarding schools, schools, lyceums, what are they called,
And from Lancasterian mutual instruction.
Princess
No, in Petersburg there's an institute
Ped-a-gog-ical, so, I think, it's called:
There they practice in schisms and unbelief,
Professors!!—Our relative studied with them,
And emerged! Ready right now for a pharmacy, as an apprentice.
He runs from women, even from me!
Doesn't want to know ranks! He's a chemist, he's a botanist,
Prince Fyodor, my nephew.
Skalozub
I'll gladden you: there's universal rumor
That there's a project about lyceums, schools, gymnasiums;
There they'll only teach our way: one, two;
And books they'll preserve thus: for great occasions.
Famusov
Sergei Sergeich, no! If we're to stop the evil:
Gather all the books and burn them.
Zagoretsky
(meekly)
No sir, books differ from books. And if, between us,
I were appointed censor,
I'd crack down on fables; oh! Fables are my death!
Eternal mockery of lions! Of eagles!
Whatever anyone says:
Though they're animals, they're still kings.
Khlestova
My fathers, if someone's mind is disordered,
It's all the same, whether from books or from drink;
But I pity Chatsky.
Christianly so; he's worthy of pity,
He was a sharp person, had three hundred souls.
Famusov
Four hundred.
Khlestova
Three hundred, sir.
Famusov
Four hundred.
Khlestova
No! Three hundred.
Famusov
In my calendar…
Khlestova
All calendars lie.
Famusov
Exactly four hundred, oh! You're loud at arguing!
Khlestova
No! Three hundred!—I shouldn't know others' estates!
Famusov
Four hundred, please understand.
Khlestova
No! Three hundred, three hundred, three hundred.
Scene 22
All the same and Chatsky.
Natalya Dmitrievna
There he is.
Countess-granddaughter
Shh!
All
Shh!
(They back away from him to the opposite side.)
Khlestova
Well, with a madman's eyes
If he starts fighting, he'll demand satisfaction!
Famusov
Oh Lord! Have mercy on us sinners!
(Apprehensively.)
Dearest! You're not yourself.
You need sleep from the road. Give me your pulse. You're unwell.
Chatsky
Yes, there's no strength: a million torments
To the chest from friendly squeezing,
To the feet from shuffling, to the ears from exclamations,
And worse to the head from all sorts of trifles.
(Approaches Sophia.)
My soul here is somehow compressed by grief,
And in the multitude I'm lost, not myself.
No! I'm dissatisfied with Moscow.
Khlestova
Moscow, you see, is to blame.
Famusov
Farther from him.
(Makes signs to Sophia.)
Hm, Sophia!—She's not looking!
Sophia
(To Chatsky)
Tell me, what angers you so?
Chatsky
In that room an insignificant meeting:
A Frenchman from Bordeaux, straining his chest,
Gathered around himself a kind of assembly
And told how he prepared for the journey
To Russia, to the barbarians, with fear and tears;
He arrived—and found that caresses had no end;
Not a Russian sound, not a Russian face
He met: as if in his fatherland, with friends;
His own province. Look, in the evening
He feels himself a little tsar here;
The same sense among the ladies, the same outfits…
He's glad, but we're not glad.
He fell silent, and then from all sides
Longing, and moaning, and groaning.
Ah! France! There's no better land in the world!—
Decided two princesses, sisters, repeating
A lesson drummed into them from childhood.
Where to escape from the princesses!
I from afar sent wishes
Humble, but aloud,
That God would destroy this unclean spirit
Of empty, slavish, blind imitation;
That He would plant a spark in someone with a soul,
Who could by word and example
Restrain us, like a strong rein,
From pitiful nausea for a foreign land.
Let them declare me an old believer,
But worse for me our North is a hundred times
Since it gave up everything in exchange for the new fashion—
Both morals, and language, and sacred antiquity,
And majestic dress for another
In a jester's pattern:
A tail behind, in front some strange cutout,
Contrary to reason, against the elements;
Movements are constrained, and no beauty to the face;
Ridiculous, shaven, gray chins!
Like clothes and hair, so minds are short!..
Ah! If we're born to imitate everything,
We should at least from the Chinese borrow
Some of their wise ignorance of foreigners.
Will we ever resurrect from the foreign tyranny of fashions?
So that our intelligent, vigorous people
At least by language wouldn't consider us Germans.
"How to put European in parallel
With national—it's somehow strange!
Well, how to translate madame and mademoiselle?
Really sudarynya!!"—someone muttered to me…
Imagine, then everyone there
Burst into laughter at my expense.
"Sudarynya! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Splendid!
Sudarynya! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Terrible!!"—
I, angered and cursing life,
Prepared them a thunderous answer;
But everyone left me.—
Here's a case for you with me, it's not new;
Moscow and Petersburg—in all of Russia it's
What a man from the city of Bordeaux,
Just opening his mouth, has the fortune
To inspire sympathy in all the princesses;
Both in Petersburg and in Moscow,
Whoever is an enemy of imported faces, affectations, curly words,
In whose, unfortunately, head
Five or six sound thoughts are found
And he dares to announce them openly,—
Look…
(Looks around, everyone is waltzing with the greatest zeal. The old people have dispersed to the card tables.)
End of Act III